Please hide my identity before you post. I am married to a man that does nothing but question my loyalty and integrity every time he gets an opportunity. I met him in 2017 and we got married in 2018 but sadly, in our three years of marriage. This man has not grown to trust me. He questions everything I do and keeps on insinuating that I am cheating on him. I am a working class lady and even before we got married, he knows that I take my job seriously and no amount of love or any other side hustle will stop me from giving in my best. Yet he still believes that I flirt at work. I have colleagues and the type of job I do requires me to keep in touch with my colleagues. Due to this, they call me even during non office hours to make enquiries and fix other things. He knows and understands the nature of my job but anytime these people call me, he flares up and always try to make a fuss.
I am the team lead in my workplace and as such, I train interns and also put my colleagues through certain things. There is this new intern we have, he is a young guy but full of energy and I love his zeal when it comes to work. My husband got to know about him and since then, he has not allowed me to rest. He thinks that I am having an affair with this young man. How exactly will I be having an affair when I am married? My marriage is relatively young, it is barely three years so how exactly am I supposed to start looking outside already. Apart from that, even if I want to cheat, why will I cheat with someone that I am older than? I am older than this intern, I earn more than him and my rank at work is higher than his so why will I cheat on my husband with someone like that? What do I stand to benefit?
I have been trying to manage my husband’s excesses and all the crazy has been doing but I don’t think I can continue anymore. How long am I going to keep trying to reassure him that I am faithful? No now. Things can’t continue like this. I have a life and I wish to be happy. I was not born to please him or always be in the struggle to please him. This same stupidity and insecurity of his made him stop me from going to work by myself. He asked me to stop driving to work and opted to do it instead. Presently, he drives me to work every single day and during my close hours, he returns to pick me up. My colleagues and some other friends think that he is being romantic but I know he is not. I know that he is simply being the insecure man he has always been.
We have a child together and despite everything I do to support the family and raise our only daughter well, he doesn’t appreciate any of that. A year after I gave birth to my daughter, he asked for a DNA test. I was shocked to my marrow. I knew he had trust issues but of all the crazy things he could do, I never for once thought that he would go that far. I was angry and I didn’t hide that from him. I expressed my annoyance and disappointment but that didn’t deter him. He still insisted we run the test and I refused. It got serious, he was not going to stop until we run the test so I had no other option than to agree. The crazy thing was that we didn’t have money. A DNA test costs so much and we were already struggling. I thought that the cost was going to stop him from running the test since I wasn’t ready to bring out a dime for it. However he had to borrow. I was angry but after everything, the child was his.
He said he just did it to be on a safe side. I can no longer cope with this kind of man. I am tired. It is just 3 years and I am already this drained. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in misery. I deserve better and I know it. What should I do? How do I handle this situation?