Please help me and post this. I am married with three children. This marriage has been hell for me and I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I loved this man but as it is presently, love is not enough to keep this marriage. We started off as lovers before I got pregnant for him, I was still living with my parents then even though I had already graduated from university. There was no job so I was helping my parents out in their businesses. I met this man at the mall one day when I went out with my friends. He said he was a banker and after speaking for a while, we exchanged contacts and I left. He called me frequently and we got used to each other. Our bond grew and from friends, he asked me out and I agreed to be his girlfriend.
I always went to visit him and considering the state of his job, I would Cook for him. He gave me his spare key so I could visit whenever I wanted to. Along the line, I got pregnant for him but I didn’t tell him because I didn’t even know what to do with my life. I was scared he was going to leave me if he found out. He later noticed and he was furious when he found out. As expected, he asked me to get rid of it but I refused. My parents later found out and because of the positions they held, they insisted he married me. We had no option but to get married. Due to the circumstances surrounding our marriage, we have not had a smooth relationship since then even though I never stopped loving him.
With each passing day, I dedicated myself to being a better wife with the hope that one day, he would look at me and love me like he used to before we got married. However, 14 years have passed and nothing has improved. My husband still treats me like a stranger. He doesn’t act with any kind of love for me. We have kids but he doesn’t act like they are his kids. He provides money for food but that is all. He hardly touches me at night and I can’t even do anything about it. Sometimes he refuses to bring money for food. I have tried everything to make him love me but no progress. I do not have a job and he knows. So I depend on him for many things. I have searched for a job but I am not always lucky. Many times he speaks to me in a demeaning manner even in the presence of my children.
This man beats me without thinking twice. On every slightest provocation, he slaps me. There was a time he beat me up that I had to visit the hospital and he never came to see me. He doesn’t even care about whether or not I die. Nothing about me concerns him. Sometimes I threaten to pack my bags and leave his house but it doesn’t even move him. I have tried so many times to apologize to him and make him love me but it is as if there is a permanent hatred he has for me. He is always cold towards him. When I see him outside, he is always happy and laughs with people but immediately he gets home, everything changes. He doesn’t even spend time with the kids. I am tired of managing this marriage. This is not the kind of life I wanted for myself. I am not happy and I need a solution.