My husband maltreats our children

I honestly don’t know the kind of man I got married to. Even if you don’t like me, how would you not like your own children? I got married to this man eleven years ago after dating him for four years. For me to have dated him for four years, I thought I knew him, I trusted him so much and even when my family was hesitant because he was from a far place from home, I convinced them that distance wasn’t a barrier since I have known him for a long time. Apparently, I didn’t know him as much as I thought, it was just a fraction of his person that I knew.

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We got married and it seemed everything was fine. He was still sweet and caring as always. Of a truth, I enjoyed the first two years of our marriage. We both had demanding jobs and we wanted to also spend great time with each other so we agreed not to have a child in the first year of our marriage in order to out things in place. It was also going to afford me time to leave my job which was very time consuming and opt for a job that would give me more time. I later had our first child and he was heavily bonding with him, I don’t know if it was because our first child was a boy.

I had my second and third child and I realized that his attachment towards them had reduced so much. Initially, he wasn’t carrying them and playing with them as his used to. I thought it was job related because he was having a rough time then but it continued.  From that, he stopped playing with them completely and lost interest in them. Even when I am very busy in the kitchen or doing house chores, he doesn’t try to get their attention and hold them down so that I can focus. He ignores them even when they come to distract me with what I was doing.

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It continued and he even began to beat them. Now, any small thing they do, he either screams at them or beat them. He beats them too much and I have always told him that it’s not the best way to train kids. They are children and sometimes they do things unintentionally. You can caution them gently but beating them the way he does instills fear in them and makes them very afraid of him. Now, the kids don’t like him. As young as they are, they are very scared of him. They are always afraid to sit alone with him. If I am cooking and tell them to stay in the sitting room with him, they refuse. 

They may be watching cartoon and once they hear the sound of his car, they run to me or to their rooms. It’s that bad. The one that prompted me to write this is that he beat the first son and he lost a tooth. I am tired.