I am a young mother, 27 years, married to a 33 year-old man. We have been together almost three years now and have a son who is a year old. From the outside, our marriage looks perfect. He is actually a very good man, not just to me but also to our friends and family. This far he has been a great husband and awesome father to our son. I have no complaints in that department.
My issue is this habit I realized he has. My husband masturbates. I don’t know when he started this because I had never seen him do it before. I don’t know how to process it. The first time I saw him do it was some time after my maternity leave ended and I’d gone back to work. I came home a little later than usual and the bedroom door was shut but not locked. I let myself in and heard him in our private shower and I intended to join him but I saw what he was doing through the glass door. Yes, the shower cubicle is made of frosted glass, but I know what I saw. I panicked and hurriedly got dressed and left the room. I couldn’t look him in the eye.
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It left me confused for some time so I decided to investigate properly. I didn’t want to accuse him unfairly or bring up something that wasn’t major. I observed him keenly over several weeks and I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. He would masturbate a lot! On confronting him about it, he said he would stop. I was relieved when he didn’t deny it. He didn’t explain why he does it but he promised to stop.
For a while I thought he had stopped until I saw him doing it again about a week ago. He didn’t see me though. I feel played and a little betrayed. Our sex life is fine according to me. We have sex regularly and he satisfies me. Do I not satisfy him? Is masturbation really better than sex with me? Why would he masturbate when he has me? How do I bring it up again without making him feel bad about it? How do I respond to this? How do I handle it without making it about me? I’m honestly slowly losing interest in him. I really love my husband and I wouldn’t want anything to get between us but I’m struggling with this one.
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