I used to think that every marital partner should be their spouse’s biggest cheerleader but it seems my situation is different. Instead of my husband hyping me and helping me feel better about myself, he makes things worse for me. He speaks to me in a terrible way as if he is speaking to a five-year old child. He has no regard whatsoever for me, he insults me irrespective of who is watching even in front of the children. The one that gets me the most is how he speaks to me because of my size. He is always body shaming me and making fun of how I look. He will always tell me that I look like a bag of beans and no one can comfortably lift me up without falling down.
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I feel very bad whenever he speaks to me in this manner. I have three children and just like other mothers, it is common to gain weight after going through different phases of childbirth. When I had my first child, I gained weight but it was not so bad. I started exercising and visiting the field for sports in order to keep my weight in check. After my second and thirds children, I added so much weight and even my efforts to watch what I eat and exercise as well were not helping matters. Since then, my husband has been going on and on about my size and how I look like a grandmother. To be honest, my weight is not as bad as he makes it look. He just has a soft spot for slim girls and that’s why he’s being too extra about it.
Before we got married, I wasn’t slim. I was chubby but he didn’t complain about it. He said he loved my size and I looked fresh and healthy. He never for once complained about my size before we got married so I couldn’t possibly know that my size will be an issue after marriage. It has deeply reduced his love for me and how he sees me now is nothing to write home about. The words he says to me hurt me deeply and pierce through my heart. At home, he makes everything an issue and he raises his voice while speaking so other neighbors hear his voice and make side comments. This has also affected my reputation in this compound.
Whenever I have any form of misunderstanding with my neighbors, they begin to make mockery of my body size. They use my husband’s words and call me fat. I am trying my best to reduce. I have enrolled in a gym and I go jogging every morning. Should I talk about my feeding? I rarely eat, I eat mostly fruits which are even very expensive now. I eat mostly apples, eggs, carrots and the like. I also developed an ulcer when I was trying to reduce what I eat. I have been trying my best but my husband is not even acting like I’m doing anything. Many people say my weight is not bad for a mother of three but my husband doesn’t listen to such talks. I am tired of trying and not being appreciated.