My husband said that I was embarrassing him while I was giving birth to our baby

Bayo Ajibola

We have been married for 1 year and we had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my husband was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like “can you stop screaming, you’re really embarrassing me”. I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame.

Also while pushing a bit of poo came out, i just cannot help it. My husband was just not supportive at all. When I held the midwife’s hand for comfort he whispered “let go of her, stop being so embarrassing”. He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names.

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I’m really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most. When I try to talk to him about it he still did not understand what he did wrong saying that I’m being silly…

 Spoke to my mum about this but she is the very traditional type and although she said his behaviour is wrong, I should try couple counselling first. I really don’t think he is going to listen to me when I suggest getting help but I’ll try. I am also going to talk to my public health nurse.

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I have since tried to discuss the option of couple counselling to him but to no avail, which didn’t surprise me. My mum has agreed to let me stay there until I can find a new place for myself and baby. I haven’t said anything to him yet, I’ve been advised not to so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step. How can i continue in a marriage like this? This is just beyond me .Kindly advice.

Bayo Ajibola

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