My husband has suddenly become addicted to smoking. He smokes cigarettes, weed and anything available to him. I do not know how he got this terrible. We were colleagues at work before we got married. We were working in the same company and he was a very nice, smart and calculated young man. It was one of the things that attracted me to him. We got along pretty well and we always had to carry out tasks together. He was my team head so I always reported to him after beings assigned tasks. He was diligent and did things in a good way. He was respectful and decent so we got very close. After some months, he asked me out and because he was a nice person, I accepted his proposal. We were dating but no one in our workplace knew. He later got a new job and left the company.
While we were dating, he told me he smokes but he was not addicted to it. He said he only smoked when he was stressed or when he is going through a difficult time. I expressed my discomfort with it but he assured me he was working on quitting smoking completely. We continued dating and he never smoked in front of me. Although, sometimes when I visit his house, I do see weed and some other stuff in his room and sometimes in his drawers. Each time I spoke to him about it, he assured me that he was working on quitting. He was never violent, he never spoke to me in a disrespectful manner nor did he coerce me into doing anything I didn’t want to do. He was very nice and always listened to me.
He later proposed to me and I told him I was uncomfortable since he smokes but he assured me that he was going to change. Fast forward to when we got married, he still didn’t stop smoking but he didn’t get worse. He smoked rarely just as before we got married and he still treated me well. I always thought he would change for good but he has gotten worse. This is our 11th year of marriage and my husband smokes openly. Not only that he smokes openly, he smokes frequently and drinks a lot too. Now it looks like a greater percentage of his income goes into drinking and smoking. I don’t know how my husband changed from being a decent man to a chronic drug addict.
We have three kids now and he doesn’t even care about the impact that smoking will have on them. He smokes whenever he wishes. He even wraps weed in their presence, lights it and smokes it. Most times these kids watch him and my son goes to him to touch it. You know how kids are, they learn things they see faster in life than what they hear. I have confronted my husband so many times to stop smoking in the presence of our kids but he does nothing about it. I get more frustrated by the day because he seems to be getting worse. I always have to be the one to take my kids away from his presence when I see him smoking. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my kids to be exposed to this negative behavior at such a tender age. I need a solution to this. I don’t know the best way to act or handle this behavior. I need suggestions please.