Please don’t reveal my identity. I met a guy when I was in University. We dated for about years and in the 3rd year of our relationship, he got a scholarship for his masters program in the UK and he left. Meanwhile, before he left, we were very close. Our relationship was thriving and we were doing very well. Many people didn’t understand how our relationship lasted from the University until we graduated. He was in 300 level while I was in 200 level when we met. However we started dating when he was in final year and the love has been strong since then. Even when he graduated, the distance wasn’t a problem, he still came to visit me from time to time and sometimes, he sent me money so I’d come and see him. We were that close and he was a very nice and understanding gentleman. That was the reason why our relationship was flourishing. He was meek and cared so much about me. I was struggling to survive in school but he did all he could to see that I survived.
He sent me money and gave me every form of support he could. Before he left for his masters program abroad, I was doing my NYSC while he was working with a small company. We were very close and my mom already got to know him as well as some of my siblings. His plans of leaving the country was hard on me and he knew it. He promised to come back for me but I was scared that he would change. I was scared that he was going to meet someone else over there and completely forget about me. However, he agreed to do my introduction before leaving so that when he returns, we can get married fully and raise a home. I was happy but I ensured he was not doing that out of compulsion. We informed both families and we fixed the date for the introduction. Everything was successful and he later traveled. We still kept in touch and he continued taking care of me. We spoke every day, video calls, voice calls, chats and more.
Our communication was very strong and he later came back the next year for a short break. He bought me a lot of things and still made known his intentions of marrying me when he is done with his program. He later traveled and things continued the way they were. We spoke frequently and all. He got back finally this year in May and we started making plans for our marriage. He got a job with an apartment and a company car before he came back so funds were not the problem. I have been trying to fasten our marriage plans but I realized he was not enthusiastic about the whole thing. It was as if he was reluctant and I could see it. After trying to overlook it for a long time, I decided to tell him about it and ask what was wrong and as expected, he said he was fine and nothing was wrong. I tried finding out from his close friends if anything was wrong but none of them agreed to know anything.
Apart from his attitude, I also noticed that there was this lady he always spoke to and he never liked speaking to her when I was around. So I had to go through his phone and chat. That was when I found out that she had a son for him who was about a year, if not more than. I was angry and I showed him everything. He has been apologizing but I don’t know what to do. I love him a lot but I don’t know how to cope with this news. We have been dating since university and he still got someone pregnant. I feel very terrible. He said he still loves me but I seriously doubt that. I feel cheated. I don’t know how long he has been seeing this other lady and from their chat, they seem very close and in love but he claims he doesn’t love her because they just had a fling and they were drunk. I know these are all lies but I am hurt.
I waited for him for so many years to come back. I know all the suitors I turned down because of him. Some are richer than he is but because of my promise and how much I love him, I had to wait for him. I feel broken and betrayed. If I tell my mom about this she will cancel everything. I don’t know if I should just go on with the marriage but I don’t know how I will cope. Also in the long run, he already has a son and this child from another woman will be recognized as the first not and not my own son. I don’t want my children to go through that. I am confused. Please help me out.