I am one of the most distressed persons alive now. At this point I don’t know the way forward, I am only hoping for a miracle or a practical option to save my marriage. My husband of seven years suddenly wants a divorce. I can’t even wrap my head around this decision of his. We have two children together and we seemed to have a very beautiful marriage but all that is suddenly going down the drain. Yes, we have misunderstanding but there is no marriage that doesn’t encounter challenges. First, it started with a problem about my choice of work. I needed a way to support the family so I decided to get a job, I got a job as a personal assistant but he said he didn’t like it since my boss was a man.
I refused to quit the job even after he was throwing tantrums and acting up. I later got a job at a Secondary school where I was working at the ICT unit since I had a good knowledge of computers. That one passed and we made up. Later on we had another issue about the choice of school for our first child. He was being bullied at the school he was attending but because the term was not over, my husband was insisting that he continues there and we can make plans about changing his school next term. I agreed with him but the bullying continued even after I went to his teacher and also the school board to lay complaints. My son came home with bruises and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I withdrew my son from the school against my husband’s will and he was so angry. We have also had other issues and he keeps on saying I challenge his authority and do not respect him whereas I am just a woman standing up for herself and looking out for her family especially her children. Sometimes we have issues and a third party gets involved. Last November, he told me he was tired of the marriage and wasn’t sure he could continue. I thought he was joking, we spoke about it that time and he didn’t bring it up again until last month. He is insisting he wants to end the marriage and that he no longer wants to continue with it. He is very serious right now and all my questions to him have remained unanswered.
I have been asking what I did wrong but he keeps saying he is no longer willing to continue, that he has had enough of my troubles and excesses. I still love this man so much. I have given up a lot of things just to make our family better. I cannot begin to explain the reasons for his decision. I am a very submissive wife. I do not challenge him and I take good care of our children. I have been pleading with him but he seems to have made up his mind. We still live together but he has made it clear to me that he is done. He said he will still take care of his children and pay for child support. Where do I go from here? His lawyer came to the house yesterday with the divorce papers and tried to explain the process to me but I didn’t even listen to him. I walked away. I am finished.