My husband wants me to be a stay-at-home wife.

I need your opinion on this. It is very important to me and it’s beginning to cause problems in my marriage. I just got married recently, it hasn’t been up to a year and I am beginning to see things differently than before we got married. I am 27 years old and the man I got married to is 32. We both seem to understand each other quite well or so I thought. We dated for only one year before we decided we were compatible and chose to settle. I am one of the first believers that one doesn’t need to date for three years or more before they know that you are the right one and that they want to settle down with you. In that one year that we were dating, I never noticed any form of toxic trait in my would-be husband.

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He was astute and approached things fairly. We spoke about the future, career plans, children and a host of other things before we got married and we had a good understanding on the topics. I have a thriving business, I sell fabrics some of which are imported directly or purchased from other importers in Nigeria. It is a big business and I have workers. My husband has a regular job in a corporate entity. My business is really thriving and I have a lot of customers that I supply fabrics to across Nigeria. About four months ago, my husband started dropping side comments about parents who were not emotionally available for their children as well as their partner.

I didn’t read meaning into that and all of a sudden, he told me two months ago that he really thinks that I should spend more time at home in order to be with the kids. I told him that it’s good that I don’t have a corporate job, I have a personal business and reliable workers which mean that I can monitor my business and still effectively run the home. Well, that didn’t satify him. Two weeks after that conversation, he said it in plain language that he wanted me to forget about the business and be a full time housewife so that I can raise the kids properly. I laughed, it was funny. I never expected what he said, we don’t have kids yet so I didn’t understand why he was already talking about me leaving my business. I have come to realize that he is serious and I am beginning to see him differently. 

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If we don’t have kids yet and barely one year into our marriage, he is already talking about my leaving a thriving business and built from scratch then he is probably not the supportive husband I thought he was. What happened to getting a nanny for help me with the kids. As business owner, I have full control of my time and I can effectively run both the business and my home. Many people in this age and time want a partner who is working so as to support his home. Now my husband finds me and he wants to dim my shine. I believe he feels threatened and insecure that I make more money than him but I never disrespect him. I don’t think I can cope with such a man and I want to end things now that it is still young. Am I overreacting?

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