My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion Because I Lost My Job, But I Want My Baby!

Bayo Ajibola

I’ve been reading your blog for a long time and have turned to it for relationship advice now and again. Being a Nigerian-American woman married to a Nigerian man (whom I love very dearly), I can’t say American relationship advice often applies to our situation, especially now that our lives have fallen into a bleak valley.

In just three months, I lost my job (I’m the breadwinner) and discovered I was pregnant with our second child. My husband adores our 1st child (1-yr old), but when he heard my news, he demanded I have an abortion. He refuses to hear anything else and says I’m selfish to keep the baby. That I only do what I want.

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My religious belief forbids abortion, but more than that, I’m a young mother who knows that this child will not ruin our lives. He won’t hear of anymore kids until, he says, we’re financially set, by that he means wealthy. He’d have me have multiple abortions until he deemed the time right for a child.

Where he is right now, we only speak by phone. Since I told him the news and refused the abortion, he has equally refused to call or answer my calls. Or if he happens to answer the phone, he usually hangs up after a few minutes.

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Until I agree to the abortion, he will treat me like a stranger as punishment (which is what’s he’s done before in past arguments). I was raised in the states: by refusing to obey my husband’s request, have I committed some unforgivable cultural offense by Nigeria standards?

My husband made it sound like no Nigerian wife would ever speak her mind like I have.

Sorry, a long story. But I want to do right by my family, and I believe I’ll find work soon and that blessings always follow children.

I always prided myself on my husband’s peaceful nature, his loyalty to family, his forgiving heart. I feel I don’t know him anymore.

Bayo Ajibola

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Comments to My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion Because I Lost My Job, But I Want My Baby!

  • Plz pray about it and if you know anyone ur hubby respect u can seek for their help , if anything shd go wrong during D’s abortion u will regret it so choose wisely and pray also.

    Efe March 13, 2020 7:57 pm Reply
  • Don’t ever do that sweetheart. You have taken the right decision. Stand by it. If you consent to his suggestion, you may live to regret it. God will honor you if you hold on and not give in.

    Confidence March 15, 2020 10:37 am Reply
  • When you keep killing those children, you will be the one to face the consequences not your husband,do what is right to God, killing is a sin, he wants u to kill a child because you lost your job, what is his work as a man, isn’t he supposed to be the bread winner, the cries of those children u have killed and want to kill will stand against u on the judgment day

    Chika March 15, 2020 2:05 pm Reply
  • he adores your first child because you are the breadwinner,dont even commit that abortion.

    Riz March 16, 2020 6:36 am Reply
  • If u accept to do this one just be ready to do more for him. God will not let ur children suffer so bone d mad man. U are his wife not gf.

    Mabel March 16, 2020 3:38 pm Reply
  • Please do not abort! Keep the baby and take care of yourself. Ignore him, he will come around when he is ready. Pray and God will give you another job and ensure you survive till the job comes. Keep the child please.

    Adeola March 16, 2020 6:53 pm Reply
  • It is the fear of the unknown that made him to behave like that if truly there is love between the two of you & not that he has been using you. Keep your pregnancy & continue praying to God He will pave way for you. Children are the pride of mothers. God has warned us in the Quran not to kill our children because of the fair of poverty. God bless you.

    Adenike Alimi March 18, 2020 4:43 pm Reply

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