My family is having a very difficult time because of a misunderstanding between my child, my husband and myself. By the way, I am a mother of five children with my eldest child already working. My second child is in second year in a public university and currently at home because of the Asuu strike. The third one just finished her waec and is the major reason why I am writing to. She finished waec last year and wrote jamb but because of the Asuu strike, she has not resumed school. The admission list is not yet out for the school she applied for which is also a public Nigeria university. Because of this she has been at home.
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Last month, she told me about two of her friends that were traveling out to study. She has so far told us about almost six of her friends that have traveled. I have always told her that whether or not anyone travels, one thing is certain, she will attend a good university and study her desired course and attain any height she wishes in life. Well, what I didn’t know was that she was already yielding to the subtle pressure from her friends. I came back from work one day and she began to talk to me about her plans. She said she wanted to study abroad and she has already spoken with some of her friends that travelled out including those that intend to travel and she already chose a school.
I was shocked to say the least. My family is above average but we do not have such wealth to comfortably train her abroad, not with the current situation of things in Nigeria especially the current economic downslide. I told her that we can’t afford to send her abroad to study but that we will give her the best education possible and ensure that all her needs are met. She was sad but I spoke to her even more and convinced her of our undying love and support as her parents. She left disappointed. However, I didn’t know she went to tell her father. We later spoke about it and I told my husband that it was just her being an adolescent and moved by things she’s seeing that she’ll get over it.
To cut the story, weeks later my husband said he was seriously considering what she said and suggested we sell our shopping complex which is almost the highest landed asset we have apart from other investments. I was furious, I blatantly refused but currently, it has escalated way more than I thought. I have been trying to explain things to my husband but he’s not seeing things properly. We can’t afford to make this kind of decision. There are still good schools in Nigeria and she can apply for scholarships for her masters abroad after she graduates. We have other children and we still need to care for them. He is giving me reasons why we should invest in our child by training her abroad. I don’t know what to do. My daughter already sees me like I’m a bad mother who doesn’t love her child.