Please keep me anonymous. I have a wife and two children. We have been married for six years and we have both invested a great deal into the marriage. I used to love her when we met but these days, I no longer feel anything for her. These six years we have spent together, it’s as if I was just managing and trying to see if things will work out but I don’t think I can continue anymore. Before I married her, I used to have a girlfriend whom I dated for four year but we couldn’t marry because her family was against our marriage, all my efforts to convince them were in vain so I had to let go.
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My mother finally connected me with my current wife and it was as if I just forced myself to love her. A year after we met, we got married. In our fourth year of marriage, that was when I started feeling this way, I felt nothing more for her. It was as if I began falling out of love with her although I tried to focus on the good part and see reasons why I had to love her more and stay in the marriage. I have been battling with this thought since then. I have tried spontaneous things to spice up the marriage but they never work. I even opened up to my sister who referred me to a marriage therapist.
I was seeing the therapist and she was helping me overcome this. It got better initially but after some time, I saw myself still thinking about my ex girlfriend. I have also tried to help myself but it’s not easy. My ex girlfriend is already married with three children so I try to tell myself that even if I end my marriage now, I can’t be with my ex girlfriend. My wife is a very quiet person unlike my ex that is usually very outspoken and acts highly extroverted. I am also a quiet person which makes it difficult for both my wife and I. This has also affected our relationship because we can stay long without having a serious conversation.
I love my children and I will definitely continue to love and provide for them no matter what happens. I have tried to distract myself from this thought but it keeps reoccurring. I don’t know how best to handle it. Imagine something I have been dealing with for two years now. My wife and I once met a relationship counselor who tried to show us ways we can brighten our marriage and have more fun. We tried her hacks and it worked but it wasn’t for a long time. I don’t know what to do even if I decide to end the marriage. I have two children and I don’t want to raise them in a broken home. I want them to experience true love from both parents. What can I do to salvage my situation?