I just got married recently and I am already having issues which I didn’t plan for. I don’t have a problem with my husband, he is still a great guy and still stands for all I’ve known him for. My problem is with his mother and its eating me up. I got married last weekend and before then, everything was going great. The wedding planning was a bit stressful for me but I was able to pull through. Before then, I already spoke with my husband and we agreed that we are going to spend the first few years of our marriage alone without anyone coming to live with us. We took into cognizance the fact that one or two of our relatives may decide to drop by including our mothers or siblings. Because of that, we agreed that none of them will stay beyond three years, at least for the first two years of our marriage. This doesn’t not exclude our mothers except if they come when I give birth and need help. The one that we took seriously was immediately after our wedding. At least it’s normal for couples to go on honeymoon at any desired location of their choice so at least they will have time to themselves. So we agreed that no one would come to stay immediately after our wedding.
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However, when we were making plans for our wedding, I once went to see my mother in-law and she made a statement about how she would come to stay in our house immediately after our wedding. She said she would stay for some time at least to rest and take some time away from work. I took note of that comment but I didn’t take it seriously so I didn’t even tell my husband about it. Another day, she still said the same thing and that was when I knew that she was serious. I spoke to my fiance about it and he brushed it off as nothing. I made him understand that his mom was serious and I wouldn’t want her to come stay with us and he said she wouldn’t do that so I shouldn’t worry. Weeks later, The wedding Held and everything went well. I moved in with my husband as supposed and four days later, my mother in law called my husband to inform him of her intentions to come and spend some time in our house. I was with him when she called and I was expecting him to say something else to her but he just said that there was no problem. I was angry. I just left.
He came into the room to meet me and he was apologizing. He said that he didn’t know how to turn her down without making her feel bad. That he didn’t want her to feel rejected or as if we don’t want her in our space. I simply told him that there were polite ways he could have done that. He could have told her that we are having an exclusive time for the meantime but she could visit much later when we are ready to receive visitors. He apologized and said he would call her later and inform her. He was very hesitant but I kept on reminding him because I don’t want her to come in unannounced. He later called her and she said she’ll still come so that she won’t disturb us. I was very angry. She is here and she has made life really difficult for me. The worst part of it is that she acts like I am the one who doesn’t want her in the house. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand boundaries. I no longer relax in this house, I am always on my feet trying to do things to please her. I try so much so that she doesn’t complain about me but she acts as if she doesn’t like me.
There are times when I wouldn’t want to cook but because she is here, I will be forced to cook. She doesn’t eat pepper so even when I want to cook, I will have to make her own separately. The few times that I cooked our meal together, she complained that the food had so much pepper and at the end she didn’t eat. I had to make another food for her. I honestly don’t like her presence in this house and I don’t know when she is leaving. We just got married and I am already having someone stress me so much in my own house. This is not what I planned. I am not enjoying my stay here and it is making me sad. I am always moody especially when she is in the sitting room. All that my husband and I planned to do after our wedding has been put on hold. I don’t like complaining but it is too early. What should I do? I am new in this marriage thing and I don’t even know how best to handle this type.