My mother in-law is causing problems between my husband and I. She monitors my movements and lies to my husband.

Good day Naijaaparents. I will prefer to be unknown please. I am a married woman with two kids, 5 and 2. My husband and I have been married for seven years and he has been a great man all these years. Last year, my mother in law came to live with us. She is in her late fifties and her husband is late. Her other kids, two girls are married but their husbands are not buoyant enough to handle an extra person – an aged woman with health challenges and special needs. Because of this, she came to live with my husband, the only son who is relatively okay. At least we have enough to feed ourselves, pay bills and also provide for extra persons. 

However, living with my mother in law since last year has been nothing but hell. She is very troublesome and extremely demanding,  emphasis on Extremely. This woman still has the mentality of the ancient people. She believes things should be done the same way they used to be in the olden days. I used to have a nanny but due to her constant nagging and quarrels, I had to send the girl home. She believes it’s because I am lazy, that’s why I employed someone to clean the house. Due to her age, I don’t allow her to wash her clothes so I wash them for her. Do you know that this woman expects me to wash with my hands? She doesn’t want me to use the washing machine for her clothes because she believes it does not wash them properly. 

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There was a time we had a heated conversation because she thinks I should not cook with my nails fixed. This woman said I transfer germs to her food. Meanwhile, my husband does not complain because he knows I am a very neat person and washes my hand properly before cooking. Because of the conventional ways of doing things, I wear bum shorts and other casual clothes at home. My mother in law believes only a harlot dresses that way. She accuses me of luring men and having an affair outside.

This woman always shouts at me to dress properly or tie wrapper whenever I’m at home. I have spoken with my husband about this. He has tried to convince her on several occasions that he loves to see me dress that way and that it does not in any way mean I am an unfaithful wife. 

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This woman monitors my movements.  When I go to the market to buy things, she keeps track of time and calls me at intervals. Sometimes when I do not answer probably because of the noise in the market or any other reason, this woman will instantly conclude that I have gone to a man’s house. There was a day she called my husband to inform him that I am not answering my phone. It was a big problem that day. My husband understands most times but there are times he is usually fed up and does not know what or who to believe. This affects the mood in the house and my communication with him. I honestly can’t have peace of mind in my own house. This is frustrating me. Help me please before I lose my sanity.  What do I do? Asking her to leave is almost impossible because she can’t stay in the village alone. Help me please. I grow unhappy by the day. 

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