Please help me post this. I don’t know where to start or how to handle this hence my reason for bringing it to your DM. I have been married for one year to this man but we dated before getting married and I really thought I knew who I was getting married to but it turns out that I am wrong. I am 26 and this guy is 29. We have been friends for a little above two years before we started dating. He was a really sweet guy and was always there for me when I needed him. I already met most of his close friends before we started dating and we randomly went out together. He is quite a free-spirited person so it was not difficult for us to get along.
After seeing my family in 2021, we tied the knot and have been married since then although without a child. We both work. I work and make a decent living so I rarely ask him for money. I have been worried about having a child. Various visits to the hospital confirmed that we are both okay. I have been worried since but my husband has been calm and very supportive or so I thought. He always told me not to worry as our child will come when the time is right. I thought I had the best husband until recently when I realized that I didn’t even know who I was married to. I noticed that he was a bit on the edge and always seemed to be distracted and on guard but I didn’t know why.
I once talked about it but he said that he was fine and was just stressed and a little worried because of his job and meeting his target. I just tried to be there for him and all. However, I realized that he was also a bit protective and wasn’t allowing access to his phone as he used to. He was always with his phone and even if I asked him to use it, he will hesitate before doing that. I didn’t read meaning into that. There was this night that I was working on a project from work and I needed to finish it before going to work the next day so I stayed up all night working on it. Unfortunately my network was slow so I decided to use his laptop to continue the job.
I had to sign into my mail and that was when I discovered that he was not just cheating on me with someone I didn’t know, he already had a daughter. To say I was hurt is to put it lightly. I didn’t know what to do. Further search revealed that he has been sending them money for a very long time and it’s not even small money. He already rented and furnished and apartment for the lady and helped her start a business. I was hurt. All the years I thought I knew my husband only to realize that he has been cheating on me. Their communication seem a bit okay. The lady always sent him mails and he always responds. I haven’t said anything to him because I don’t know what to say. Please how do I approach this? I don’t think I can continue this marriage no matter how I try to forgive him.