Please I would like to remain anonymous. I am in my late twenties and planning to settle down very soon so I can start a family of my own. I have been in different relationships that failed due to one reason or the other but I have not given up on love entirely. My last and current relationship is not up to a year but I have seen the attributes I desire in a wife in my current girlfriend. She is a very industrious and loving woman. She is in her final year in the university studying Nutrition and Dietetics. She is almost done with school as she is currently preparing for her final exams that will commence next week Monday. Our relationship has been a very easygoing one. Yes, there has been a little quarrel and misunderstanding a few times but that has not in any way made us doubt our love and loyalty to each other. Our relationship is very serious and even though she is still a student, she is very mature and understands what is required of her in the relationship. She is very understanding and smart and that draws me to her everyday.
Because we know how serious our relationship is, we have spoken about marriage a few times, we have discussed if we would like to settle down together and be part of each other’s future and we both agreed. Having known that, I was planning to propose to her soon but she said she would like to be done with her final exams first so I had to wait. While waiting, I decided to brief my elder sister about what is going on and the level I am only relationship. This is because she has been disturbing me about getting a wife and settling down early. So I told her about the way things were and my intentions of proposing to my girlfriend after her final exams. She was happy about it but suggested that I tell my pastor about my intentions. I am not someone who is always into the church things but I felt it would hurt if I tried. Thus, I went to see my pastor at one of his counselling sessions during the week. I explained everything to him and he said he would put it in prayer. He asked for her name, origin and other details which I gave him without wasting time. He gave me some words of advice and also some Bible verses and asked me to come back to his counseling session the next week so that he can talk to me about things. I left and continued saying the Bible verses he gave me.
The following week, I went back to see him and to my greatest surprise, he said that my girlfriend is not my wife and I should not bother marrying her. I was disappointed. I asked him why I should not marry her and he said that that was what was ministered to him. He said that we will get married but our marriage will not last. That during the fourth year of our marriage, we will have irreconcilable differences that will lead to divorce. I tried to explain to him that I have known my girlfriend for almost a year and I can attest to the fact that she is a good woman and will make a good wife. I also told him that I see the features I desire in her and I further explained that she is smart and vibrant. None of the things I said to him made him change his mind. He simply said that what he told me was the message he got and advised me to end the relationship and find someone else. I left his office enraged. I was not willing to do any of the things he said. I have taken my time to study my girlfriend and I can beat my chest that she is a good woman. Yes people may change but that does not mean that she will change beyond what I can handle.
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My sister called to find out how my conversation with the pastor was, I told her and she immediately supported the pastor. She said that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. She gave me instances of the pastor’s prophecies and ministrations that came to pass. She suggested I listen to him and find someone else. I am very confused right now. I have built my world around her and I don’t know how to start withdrawing from her. We have not had any quarrel so I don’t have any reason to end things between us. Even if I decide to end everything, I don’t want it to be on the basis that my pastor or anyone else said I should end things. I love my girlfriend so much and I can’t begin to imagine what my life would be without her by my side. I don’t know if it is a bad thing to ignore my pastor and continue with my relationship. Those of you that are married, engaged or in a serious relationship how did you all do it? Did you include the pastor in your plans while planning to settle down? Did you do what he said and has it affected your marriage in any way? I really want to know. What should I do? I love my girlfriend and I can’t let go of her.