My Teenager is Having Sex!

Bayo Ajibola

My Teenager is Having Sex

First things first, calm down! Breathe in, breathe out. Okay, now let’s talk. So your child is having sex. This is one of the most devastating news to many parents. They always imagine their children to be as innocent as they were as toddlers and that their inquisitive nature doesn’t apply to reproductive health. If only that were true!

It can be really shocking as a parent because when you hear such news you begin to wonder who are they doing it with, is that the only sexual partner, how often are they doing it, what if a sexually transmitted infection rears its head, what if pregnancy comes into the picture, what will people think, what if, what if, what if. The list is endless! It can be really unnerving but if it has already happened then you have no choice but to handle it wisely.

Find out from them

This may be difficult because most teenagers don’t give much information to their parents. You can discreetly use a third party or take some time with your child to find out. Whichever method you choose, go about it really carefully because you may gain your child’s trust or lose it during this process. Gaining their trust at this point cannot be overemphasized because it will set the stage for many more important discussions as they continue to grow into adults.My Teenager is Having Sex.

Advise accordingly

Whether the party in question is a boy or girl, they will need direction and proper advice. Please don’t tell your teenage boy that he has now become a man because he has had sex. This will probably get him to look for more conquests so as to continue to prove and affirm his newfound ‘manhood’. At the same time, don’t call your teenage daughter unprintable names. They will stick with her and she will carry them into her future even if she doesn’t realize it.

Remind them about the dangers of premarital sex in detail so that it sinks in. Don’t scare them into quitting but rather help them understand why they need to quit. The diseases, the risk of pregnancy and most importantly the psychological impact of sex outside the confines of marriage should be addressed. Those with a religious background and grounding can use the sacred books and teachings to their advantage because premarital sex is not permitted in any religious context.My Teenager is Having Sex

You may probably want to delegate it to someone else who talks more openly about sex and related issues but try and refrain from that. A parent sitting their child down for an important conversation holds much more weight and will potentially strengthen their relationship. Your child will be sure that they are loved and that their parents care about their welfare, even if they may not see it from that perspective at this point.

Read about it widely if you feel you are not well-equipped for the task. It is indeed taxing and may be quite daunting but it will be worth it in the long run when you see your child making wise decisions about their sexual activity and health. You also won’t have to worry about paying embarrassing hospital bills. Make this investment when it is still early so that you can set the right foundation for your child’s future.

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Bayo Ajibola

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