My wife cheated on me while I was away. It’s difficult to forgive her.

Please keep me anonymous. I have been trying to get this off my chest in a long while but it hasn’t been successful. I am a married man and a father of three. Eight years after we got married, we were struggling to feed ourselves. Even the children’s school fees were a big problem and all my efforts to find a decent job that pays well and sorts our needs wasn’t successful. Things were getting harder for us by the day and even though my wife was very supportive and kept telling me that things will be fine, we were struggling. With the help and advice of some people including my wife, I decided to travel out and seek a better life.

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My elder brother who lives abroad promised to help me secure my papers and also support me when I get there. Luckily he did. I spent four years there before I came back to see my family for the first time. I got back three weeks ago and I love the growth I see. My wife looks healthier and more beautiful. My three other children and very healthy and strong. When I got back earlier, I was so happy and grateful to my wife that she took care of my kids and some projects that I sent her money to execute were well-delivered. A week after I got back, we had a lot to talk about, we needed to talk about our years of being apart.

We also considered our finances, future plans and how she would join and also a review of the past years we were apart. It was during this conversation that she opened up to me that she cheated on me. I was heartbroken. She kept saying it was because I was away and she couldn’t just help it. I asked her how many times she cheated on my and she said four times, like four times in four years? I am finding it hard to believe her. It has changed the way I see her and I don’t know if I will ever be cool with the fact that my wife had another guy while I was away. I pressured her to tell Me who she cheated on me with and she said it was a married man.

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How am I supposed to feel? I spoke to my friend about it and he feels I shouldn’t worry about it because there was no way I expected her to stay for four years without a man and remain sane. He thinks that since she is still there for me and raised my kids well and executed all the projects I sent money for that I should keep her as a wife. Another friend feels that she has cheated with more men than she said. I don’t know how to feel. I know four years is a long time to wait but I had plans for us. I love her so much and I was very willing to relocate with her and give her a better life. Now, I don’t know if she’ll be there for me again. What if she continues cheating on me?