Please hide my identity. I am a married man with three kids. I have been married for 7 years. My first child is 6, the second, a boy is 3 while my last daughter is barely 6 months. My wife and I have been living happily. Before we got married, we agreed to raise our kids ourselves and spend as much time as possible with them. When we got married and gave birth to our first daughter, we were able to keep to our agreement of raising her ourselves because my wife was a full-time housewife. However, when we gave birth to our second child, we couldn’t keep up with that since my wife already started working. Taking care of both kids was becoming burdensome and we thought of getting a housemaid.
It was a hard decision to make but we were left with no other choice. My wife’s mom got a young child of 16 to stay with us and take care of our kids when we are away. The child is hardworking, very neat, and obedient. She took care of our kids well and did the house chores without being asked to. My wife and I loved her and were nice to her. But about six months later, my wife’s attitude towards her changed. She spoke to her rudely and manhandled her. When I confronted her about her sudden bad attitude, she said the girl changed and wasn’t as good as she was when she first came.
I tried to make her understand there were better ways of disciplining the child other than beating her and saying horrible things to her. She agreed to change but didn’t. When our son turned 1, I spoke to her about getting the housemaid into school but she objected. She gave reasons why she still needs to take care of our kids until our son turned 2. I disagreed with her and it led to a heated conversation. After much talk, I agreed with her. As time went by, my wife got worse. She would beat the child regularly and starved her. The food she gave the young girl was always little and she grew lean. I was usually busy so I had little or no time to take a good look at the girl.
There was a time the girl had large bruises on her body as a result of the beating she received from my wife. I took her to the hospital and she spent some days there. Each time I confront my wife about her actions towards the child, she always gets defensive and accuses me of taking sides with the child. When things got out of hand, I informed my wife’s mother to speak to her but nothing changed.
The major problem now is that our housemaid mistakenly broke the glass jug when she was cleaning the kitchen. My wife got mad and poured hot water on the child. She has deep wounds that will take time to heal. I don’t know what to do with my wife. I am afraid she will get worse and someday treat our children the same way. I also fear she will influence my kids with her bad actions since kids learn what they see faster. As earlier said, I am not always at home so she spends greater time with the children. I need advice on what to do. My wife has changed a lot and I do not want her to influence my kids negatively. Our housemaid is still at the hospital and the doctor said her wounds will take so much time to heal. Help me. What do I do with my wife? How do I make her change? I’m afraid she will hurt me one day.