My wife has long standing issues with my mom. What should I do?

My wife is a very good woman. I often look at her and thank God for having her in my life. She is very nice and takes good care of my family. She supports me well and is always there for me when I need her. We have been married for six years and we have three children. My wife recently gave birth so she is still at home nursing the child. When I brought my wife home to show my parents that I want to marry her, I realized that my mom did not like her as much as I expected even though my wife is from my state but a different village. I tried to find out why but she kept saying that she likes my wife but her actions were saying otherwise.

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Before I met my wife, there was this woman that was my mom’s very good friend, she had a daughter whom my mom loved so much. So my mom was doing everything humanly possible to matchmake me with the girl but I wasn’t interested. Yes, she was beautiful and tall but I needed more in a woman. I had conversations with her but I found out that she has a shallow thinking and reasons poorly so I lost interest. I told my mom that I didn’t like her so I would not continue speaking to her frequently and I won’t marry her. I also told her why but my mom kept insisting that she’s a good girl and I should give her time.

So when I eventually brought home my wife, she was still unhappy that I chose someone else. It is already 6 years and she has not stopped hating my wife. Of course my wife eventually got to know that my mom didn’t like her and I told her why. I apologized to her on my mom’s behalf and assured her it would never affect how I treat her. My wife has also tried everything possible to please my mother and make her love and accept but it has been fruitless so my wife no longer tries. My mom treats my wife poorly whenever we visit her and sometimes she abuses her verbally. She says mean and hurtful things to my wife and gets angry with her unnecessarily.

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As a result of this, we stopped going to the village frequently but my mom still visits us and whenever she visits, she annoys my wife and blames her for stupid things. She says my wife is the reason why I do not take care of them as I used to but that’s a like. I still send them money and go to the village to see them. My wife doesn’t like her coming to my house because whenever she comes, she always causes problems but I can’t stop my mother from visiting me. The worst part of it is that she doesn’t even inform me before coming, we just see her and she leaves when she likes. She is currently in my house to see the new baby and she has been here for two weeks now and is not acting like she is leaving soon.

My wife has been unhappy since she came and for someone that just gave birth, I feel very unhappy that my wife is sad and uncomfortable in her own home. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force my mother out of my house, it will only worsen things.

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