My wife is pregnant and I’m not responsible – Nigerian Man

I need a rational analysis of this situation. I want to know if I am wrong with my assumptions and inferences or if my wife is actually playing me. So I am married with a daughter. We have been married for 2 years and our daughter is just a year and some months. We agreed to space our kids well so we decided to raise our daughter till she’s about 3 years before we can think of another child. Because of this, we always used protection each time we want to get intimate. I have always been particular or rather mindful of this decision so even if I’m drunk, I ensure I have my condom well worn. I love my wife so much so I didn’t want her to have issues raising kids who are almost the same age. 

I also ensure we have sex only during her safe days, yes! We are that close, I also track it. This is to rule out every possibility of her conception. It’s not like I can’t fully raise my kids, I just don’t want my wife having a hard time raising them since I am barely at home. Before the COVID-19 lockdown, I travelled for a business trip in another state in Nigeria. I was not through with all I had to do when the Lockdown started. Due to this, I stayed back in my location and still communicated with my wife very well. To help her be comfortable, I asked my younger sister who stays in the same state to move in with her. This was because I wanted my wife to be comfortable, have someone to keep her company and also do the house chores. 

I actually went for my business trip in February, and by April, my wife called to tell me she was pregnant. I had mixed feelings. This was because our baby is barely two years old and I also remember that the last time I had sex with her, I was careful and it was during her safe time. Although, I know that it’s not a guarantee but I was fully covered. I thought about these but didn’t want to make an issue out of it so I just had to overlook it. I continually sent her money and called to check on her. I also called my sister to make sure my wife is in the best shape. Knowing her new condition, I wanted to be close to her and give her all the care and support possible. Because of this, I had to round off my stay and started making plans towards returning. Even with the interstate lockdown, I was eager to go home. 

One way or the other, I was able to return home in May when the lockdown was eased. My wife was happy to see me. She was in good health likewise my daughter and sister. To make up for lost time, I always drove her to the hospital for antenatal care. On one of our visits last month being August, I realized my wife was only 4 months and 3 weeks pregnant. By my calculations, the last intercourse we had was the week I left in February. So if actually I was responsible for the pregnancy, she should be about 5 or 6 months pregnant. I couldn’t let it slide so I confronted her. She got angry and said I was accusing her wrongly. I broke this down for her and she was still denying it and crying. She maintained her ground that I was responsible for the pregnancy. 

I asked my sister if she noticed any suspicious moves from her when I was away and she said she did not. I don’t know if I am just overreacting or something is actually wrong somewhere. I have always loved and trusted my wife so much. I need the married people here or those who are knowledgeable about pregnancy to help me find out if my assumptions are wrong. I just hope they are because I can’t stand my wife cheating on me to the extent of even having another man’s child in my house. I have always been faithful to her. I just don’t understand why she would decide to do something as stupid as this. God help her let it be that I am wrong because if not, she would see the terrible side of me. Please help me calculate this. I don’t want to overreact. 


Comments to My wife is pregnant and I’m not responsible – Nigerian Man

  • I understand your anger but I’d advise you remain calm and opt for a DNA test. You can do that now she is pregnant or wait till she delivers. Whichever you go for, please try as much as possible not to put undue pressure on your wife, it’s not safe for her condition. If the child is yours and your wife has complications as a result of your mean attitude towards her now, I bet you would blame yourself for the rest of your life. Be calm and nice towards her. Take a break from your assumptions and calculations and go for a DNA test. It’s the best means to find out.

    Cynthia Eze October 7, 2020 8:20 am Reply

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