I would like to know how married and other experienced people are handling issues like this because I am finding it very difficult to handle. I am a married man with two children. We have been married for four years and I found out recently that my wife is still in contact with her ex boyfriend. I met her a year after her relationship with the guy ended. From what she said they dated for four years and were even planning to settle down but their families didn’t give their consent. They tried so much to convince them but it didn’t work and they had to end things. My wife admits that it was difficult for her to cope.
When I met her, we started off as friends and I noticed she had a huge boundary and was somehow in her shell. That notwithstanding, I got close to her and after finding out she was a great person, I couldn’t help but get closer to her even though she had a wall and didn’t want to let anyone into it. We finally got closer and that was when she began to share her story with me. It was a painful one and I was there for her when I could. I always checked up on her and ensured she was doing great. We got closer and two years later, I found myself falling in love with her. She loved me too and we got married.
I recently found out that she has been in contact with her ex. My business is struggling because my container was seized by customs but even at that, I was still living up to expectations by providing for my wife and kids. I still paid their school fees and provided money for food but those extra luxurious lives we used to have were absent. I went through my wife’s messages on Whatsapp and saw that she had a really long conversation with the guy and it didn’t even start now. She told him about my business that was having issues and the guy asked how she was coping. She said she was managing and the guy offered to send her money.
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He sent her 350k and I didn’t know. I was very furious when I saw it. On another occasion, he sent her 100k and asked her to buy some clothes for herself. I feel like a loser. Their messages are too much and my wife makes me look like an incapable man. If not for my struggling business, I take good care of her, I buy her gifts and shoes, I give her anything she needs. I feel sad that she went back to her ex after four years of marriage. We have kids already and the guy is married too. Isn’t she supposed to face her marriage and raise her kids? I want to know how to stop this. I already confronted her but it’s not enough. I am afraid that it wl continue.