I am someone who is very big on communication and presence. I am a father of four children and have been married for fourteen years. My wife are in good terms and we understand each other but these past few months have been quite challenging for both of us because we have been arguing more often than we used to. I am thirty nine years old while my wife is thirty five. I have a business that I run while she works with a company that is a bit far from home. She is a strong career woman and has always believed that she should have a successful career even as a married woman and should contribute in footing the family expenses.
This is good to an extent but my effort to make her understand that I do not want her to shoulder the responsibilities have failed. She is a good woman, I cannot dispute that but we have been quarrelling lately. She had ascended the ladder in her company which means more work, more engagement and of course greater pay. Her current job requires her to supervise younger staff while carrying our many other demanding roles. It also involves a lot of travelling to different branches of their company in various states in Nigeria. This makes her very busy and leaves her with insufficient time to cater for the children and I. Many days, he comes home very late and this affects her relationship with us.
She leaves very early in the morning and comes home very exhausted and ends up sleeping without bonding with us. This made us employ a visiting Nani who comes in to cook and clean the house on some days. The kids are always complaining about missing their mom. Sometimes she leaves before they even go to school. She doesn’t have enough time for them and doesn’t even know how they are coping in school. It is as if roles have been switched. I now close early from my business and come back in order to spend time with our kids. I ask about their day in school and help them do their assignment when I can. I do all these just to see that they don’t feel abandoned.
This worries me because apart from how the kids feel, I also feel terrible because I no longer spend quality time with my wife. She comes back tired and sleeps before we can have any meaningful conversation. I can’t even tell her about my day or what the kids complained of. Now, I have been forced to make major decisions alone because she is not always there to listen to me and make her contributions. This is really affecting my kids and I. I have sat her down to complain about how her job affects our family but she always insists that she is working to help our family. I am doing very well in my business. I have told her that she doesn’t need a busy job like this to make money because I can take care of our family. She has refused to find an easier job and it is affecting our family.