My Wife Wants To Leave me: Is This My Fault Or Is She Hiding Something?

Bayo Ajibola

I do not want to loose her or the kids.I believed I had a fantastic life. Wonderful wife and family. I’ve been married for 12 years and I’ve got three children. My wife is an inspiration. She is strong and compassionate and very understanding. Or so I assumed.

Like I said,I have an incredible wife. I normally believed that I was providing for her and the kids and therefore everything was great. The truth is that she did make an effort to discuss with me a few times over the last couple of years but I was truly busy working to build a business so our family could have a legacy. Just to ensure we won’t have to work for other people the rest of our lives.

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At the time we got married,we were both working right up until she’d to stop to take care of the children. I also worked until I ventured into my personal business. Throughout the last four years,I’ve been trying to build the business enterprise. You know with start up company,one has to commit time and energy and resources to make sure it becomes successful.That’s exactly what I have been doing these last few years.

I will not lie,it has not been very easy but my wife and I discussed it. We decided to make certain sacrifices for the business to be stable. This resulted in me traveling a great deal and a lot of times I wasn’t home. Perhaps I really got caught up in it but I never imagined my wife didn’t understand…she tried to get across a couple of times that she needed me more in the house however I told her that we needed to make our business grow first. I am very ambitious and I am very committed to making this work.

So I was truly shocked when my wife informed me a few weeks ago that she was tired and she wanted divorce. I was gob smacked. I was furious and I was greatly surprised. She told me,she was sick of being alone in the marriage,raising our children all by herself while I chased my dreams. When she said ”MY DREAMS”..I lost it and informed her it was our dream,definitely not just my dream. She became all hysterical and lamented that she’s all alone and I don’t care about her feelings and emotions or anything what so ever simply because I was chasing our business. She accused me of loving the business a lot more than her.

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I must confess,we had a massive quarrel since I thought she was being self-centered and not understanding my actions. I said a few things I am not very proud of. She also said a lot of things and in my rage,I left the house. I thought the two of us needed to calm down. I understand women can be unnecessarily emotional. I got back couple of days later and behold,my wife has packed her things out with the kids!…

Despite the fact that its nearly a month now since she left, I am honestly at loss to what to do. I spoke to her about returning to the house but she told me she needs some time to think. I adore my wife and I don’t want a breakup. I don’t want to loose her or the kids. But I equally can’t help but feel that there is perhaps more to my wife’s behavior. As to why would she simply just abandon a 12 year old marriage without even trying for reconciliation? Could she be seeing somebody else?

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Now I realize that I haven’t been the best husband but she knew why….this time was meant to be a time to make sacrifice so that we can enjoy the future. Why would she abandon me just like that. She complains of having emotional and sexual needs but I am doing my best,is that all there is to life?

I am upset but I love my wife and want her back. Please help me make sense of this. Just how do I get her back? How can we avoid a divorce? How do I make sure that she is not seeing somebody else becuase The truth is her drastic behavior is giving me serious suspicions.

I will be waiting to read your thoughts…


Bayo Ajibola

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