My wife won’t move to the village but I can’t afford the city

I am a married man and have been married for a little over six years now. We have three kids together and our marriage has generally been happy. I’m glad that things have been smooth this far. My wife and I have been working but our jobs have not been permanent. Regardless of that, we’ve managed to make things work through the years.

Like in many other families, this pandemic came with many challenges. I lost my job late last year. It’s been difficult but I’ve continued to pay the bills all through and I genuinely pride myself in being able to take care of my family’s needs. I look at paying the bills for my wife and children as a noble responsibility and not a burden. Things have however gotten more difficult as months go by and it’s getting much harder to sustain us and meet basic needs.

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My wife is a casual laborer and the job isn’t guaranteed. She may work just twice a month and then get paid monthly. The pay sometimes delays and she receives it in the middle of the next month. It also isn’t that much and can’t even cover our rent or anything much. We currently live in the city and this arrangement honestly isn’t sustainable. For this reason, I sat my wife down and asked her if we could move to the village until we’re back on our feet again. We have a house in the village and so there will be no rent to pay. There’s also plenty of food on the farm and that would ensure we don’t worry about what to eat.

My wife will hear none of it! She says she doesn’t want to leave her job behind and also doesn’t want to live in the rural setup, especially around my sisters. According to her, my sisters are really harsh and she is afraid of living around them. I tried to reassure her about that since she won’t be alone with them. I’ve assured her that they won’t be a problem because I’ll be with her and she’s been okay with me all these years. She’s still very adamant and resistant to the idea. I felt she went a little too far when she went ahead and called her mother, asking her to convince me to change my mind. It felt rather disrespectful but I stood my ground even with my mother-in-law.

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I’m in a fix right now because I’m all out of savings and I’m sure I can’t raise next month’s rent. I paid this month’s rent and gave the landlord notice. I’m certain I won’t have any money for rent next month and that’s why I told the landlord we would be moving out. My wife is looking at it in a very different way, saying I don’t love or care about her feelings because of this decision.

What am I supposed to do? Was I wrong to take that decision? What do I do next? I need mature advice as my family will be affected drastically.



A mom, a lover of family, a thinker, and friend of Christ. Writing brings it all together!

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