Nearly 4 Years Of Standing by My Husband…Maybe Its Time To Move On?

Bayo Ajibola

We got married roughly three years ago. I was heavily pregnant with my first baby when myself,my husband and two others were travelling to the East for Christmas and had a car accident. My husband was the person driving. An individual died,the other individual suffered severe injury,my hubby too was critically injured. He was in coma for nearly two months. Despite the fact that I was seven months pregnant,my injuries didn’t affect the pregnancy.

I was in intensive care however for one month because they feared I might go into after shock and possibly loose the baby. But God was faithful,I had a CS on the eight month. God gave us a healthy baby boy,we called him Chukwuegbuka.

But my hubby wasn’t so successful. The crash left him in the hospital for another one year. He was at the time totally paralysed from his waist down. He couldn’t use his legs,he could not stand or sit on his own. He’d poo and pee on one spot. It had been extremely tough for us. After a year,he was discharged for us to go and manage him at home.

That was over three years ago. Ever since then,my hubby has advanced from being in a wheel chair to using a walker however the unfortunate part is,he doesn’t have any stamina for sexual intercourse. He can cuddle me,we kiss and all but thats all. I understand lots of people will say I ought to be thankful for this however the simple truth is,its the most difficult thing I ever faced in my life.

I have not been with any man. I’ve got urges. I cry every single day. My hubby too feels frustrated about his situation. At times he goes into major depression. We discuss this and my hubby has actually given me the go ahead to sleep with any man I desire provided I use proper protection. However my heart can’t do it. We’re Christians. I can’t betray him. I believe he is saying that to make me happy however, if I actually do it, it would break his heart completely.

I read all the comments to the other ladies with similar situation on your platform,some telling her to be patient,that God is testing her,etc .Come on ,that is good on the other hand,at the end of the day,we are still humans. And I will not blame her if she would go to find a man to sleep with. Actually my family has held a meeting and made a decision that I move on.

The doctors have revealed that my hubby is not going to even be able to father another child, the car crash made him impotent. He will never ever be able to make love to me or other woman for the remainder of his life. I am 26 years old. Is that it? Is this what I will put up with for the remainder of my life?

Every day I cry, I ask God why me? Why me? ,I am realy angry with my husband. I curse the very day I met him however I look at my son and I am again very thankful. Your readers might give me the same advice that they gave the other women. But I want us to be very truthful. Take a look at the situation once again,this time around very objectively,putting yourselves in my shoes. If it was you,what would you truly do?

Moreover,since my hubby has given me the go ahead to meet with other men. Do you think I should just do it? Absolutely,won’t even God understand? Please help me answer these two important questions. For the time being,I am trying,but I have no idea what tomorrow might bring. I dont know how much longer I can stay this strong.

Your advises are most welcome. Please do not judge me,try and put yourself in my shoes first…God bless.

From Anonymous,


Bayo Ajibola

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Comments to Nearly 4 Years Of Standing by My Husband…Maybe Its Time To Move On?

  • Dear woman of God. I read your story and wished to reach out privately to you. God is still in the business of bring dead situations back to life through His Son Jesus Christ. I advice you and your husband to speak his words 1 Peter 2 v 24, Isaiah 53 v 5 out loud day and night then, as many times as you can through the day. Dont miss it! Do it for 3 weeks. Tell your Testimony to the world. You will see. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of love of power and of a sound mind. It is not God’s way of testing you. There is no shadow of turning in Him. This is the work of the devil but that the Son of God be glorified, follow these instructions. It is well

    Nkechi April 27, 2020 12:53 pm Reply
  • Madam, i don’t want to imagine what you are going through right now. One thing is sure, if God kept you both alive it is for a reason.
    However i would like you to explore other means of your sexuality other than sex by penetration. You really do not have to sleep with another man.
    Is your husband insensitive to touch?
    Is he unable to use his hands?
    If he cums, is it going to have a devastating effect on him like heart attack et al?
    Can you not cum without penetration?
    What is the use of that other man you seek?
    Are you looking for a burden carrier?
    Did you ever love your husband?
    These are the questions you should ask yourself before taking your decision.
    Trust me except your husband is dead, nothing will justify your being with another man.
    For better for worse, this is the worse that was referred to.
    Please thread with caution and the Lord will help you.

    Debbie April 27, 2020 1:38 pm Reply

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