These two terms refer to two different types of relationships; a perfect on paper type relationship or a perfect chemistry type of romance.
A perfect on paper relationship refers to the type of relationship that seems perfect in theory but not in reality. This refers to the type of relationship where your partner checks out everything on his/her ideal list like good looks, good paying job, passionate, great body, cute smile, sense of humor, and so on.
Chemistry in this context refers to attraction and sexual tension, therefore, a perfect chemistry relationship refers to the type of relationship that subscribes to that romantic term “Love at first sight.” It’s the type of relationship that starts off based on physical attraction or sexual tension or even good sex, like when you meet someone at a bar or a concert, and they’ve got a nice smile or something physically attractive that draws you to them.
Regardless of your ideals, sparks ignite, bubbling feelings overwhelm you and then you both can’t stop thinking about each other. Whenever you are around each other, there’s that undeniable tension and attraction, all that tension is called chemistry, a typical example of a perfect chemistry type of relationship.
Now the question is, amongst these two types of relationships, which is better?
Everyone has fantasies and we all have a right to want what we want and how we want them! On this note, I’d like to say that it is okay to have a checklist of what you want in a partner but the truth is, most times, the ideal rarely matches up to reality, they might check your list but what about in reality, how do they make you feel? Do you enjoy that person’s company? Do your personalities match? Do you flow seamlessly when you’re together or you just fight most of the time?
This brings us to the three c’s required for a successful relationship.
Yeah! I know what you are thinking, I said it wasn’t enough but I never said that you don’t need it because, everyone needs a checklist. Like I said earlier, it’s okay to have a checklist, in fact it is healthy to have a checklist because what better to keep check of what you want if not with a checklist? In this context, a checklist is similar to a scale of preference; what you want, what you need, what you can tolerate and what you can’t. It might not seem like a realistic thing to do but it is the step to realizing what you actually like.
Your checklist prepares you for a relationship, and is basically your ideal put into perspective.
Also it helps if your checklist is realistic. The problem with advising people to have or keep a checklist is that, they tend to have unrealistic checklists and it ends up blowing up in their faces. It’s one thing to have an ideal and it’s another to have an ideal that fits perfectly with what’s real.
It’s good to have a checklist but its best to have a realistic checklist of what you hope in a partner.
As much as a checklist is needed, chemistry is also key. Imagine being in a relationship with someone you’re no way attracted to, tragic! Yeah I know what I said earlier, just like a checklist, chemistry alone is not enough for a relationship but it’s needed to have a successful one. Everyone needs fireworks in their relationship, it’s what keeps a relationship fun.
Having a checklist is one thing but actually enjoying the relationship is another. A checklist is like the theoretical aspect of a relationship and chemistry is the practical, sometimes it doesn’t quite work the way you want, but imagine a situation where he/she fits your ideal but there’s no spark or there’s spark between you two but you can’t stand his/her habits. Or maybe he/she has no goal for the future and being goal oriented is part of your checklist, there’s no way that relationship can survive.
A lot of people might say, it’s your fault for having too much expectations but truth is no relationship can survive only on feelings, your lives have to complement each other, which brings us the final C
Having a checklist and chemistry is to key to a successful relationship but being compatible is the most important! When it comes to compatibility, it’s either you are both halves that make a whole or you are two different elements that mix perfectly to create a whole new element; its either your personalities complement each other by being a match or by being opposites. You know what they say, opposites attract.
Even if your personalities are different, there must be some kind of harmony or synergy between you or else you might clash.
In some relationships one may be an extrovert and the other an introvert. If you cannot bring yourself to understand your partner’s personality and habits then you are not compatible.
For example, imagine a quiet person dating a talkative person, they are only compatible, if the quiet one feels comfortable and understanding of the partner’s talkativeness instead of irritating and vice versa.
How compatible you are determines how well you communicate and a couple that communicates well stays together.
So now you know the keys to having a successful relationship; someone that checks your list, someone you have great chemistry with and someone you’re compatible with.
In order to have a successful relationship you need a strong foundation built on an emotional bond that will let you love your partner even during those times when you don’t like them. It might take some time for these feelings of love to develop but if its no there, you don’t need to force it.
Don’t settle for a relationship without passion and don’t move forward in a relationship without a strong foundation based on the three c’s.