RAISING YOUR NUMBER TWO CHILD

Bayo Ajibola

Raising Your Number Two Child

Your first child was a great eye opener for you. The crazy schedules and the pressure to perform all drove you nuts! You are now pregnant with your second baby and fear grips you wondering what it will be like after the labor is done because that is when the real work begins.

Parents that have had more children will tell you that it is never the same. It may be motherhood all over again but things are always different with every baby. When you are doing it the second time around, you will probably notice that this is how it goes.

Less tension

You still worry about the baby getting hurt or overfeeding but you won’t dress them in 20 layers of clothes simply because it is chilly outside.

Decisions

You are able to think more clearly about the decisions you make. With the first baby you were a bit more emotional and inexperienced about everything and it sort of got in the way of your decisions about the baby sometimes.

The art of juggling

With baby number one the schedules were crazy such that you wonder how you happened to have fallen asleep while breastfeeding. It may not be less work with baby number two but you are well on your way to being a tutor of juggling.

The baby food is ready on time, bath water is warm enough, the older kid is in bed on time, your own dinner is somewhere close to ready and you are a bit more relaxed. The noise is crazy in the house but motherhood is a little more streamlined.

It’s not the end of the world

Whenever you don’t accomplish something on your schedule you have an easier time shrugging it off and telling yourself that it will be better tomorrow. With your first baby you would probably have called yourself all sorts of names and beaten yourself down for days on end.

Less judgmental

You see a woman in the supermarket with a child throwing a tantrum and you don’t go like, “Why does her child do that? I would not let y child do that in public!” You come across a whole family at the restaurant and you admire them for being courageous enough to do it instead of being irritated because their kids are so noisy.

By now you have seen a lot of drama and you may still get shocked once in a while by what some kids can do but you aremore willing to understand than point a finger. After all, you did not enjoy it when everyone gave you that rude condescendinglook when you were trying to eat out with the older child a couple of months ago.

You don’t respond to every little cry

When baby number one would cry you would do anything in your power to soothe them immediately. With time you grew a certain kind of immunity and crying doesn’t scare you as much. The baby will whimper a little and you will throw a glance but not immediately rush there to soothe your oh so sweet baby.

Your life doesn’t revolve around baby

It was always about baby needs a nap, diapers, a play date (this was so serious that a missed date warranted a police visit) and who knows what else. It could not wait and had to be done right then for as long as it pertained to the baby and you watched your social life slip away.

With baby number two you feel less guilty about setting some time for yourself. You have learnt that burnout is very bad and comes without warning so you give yourself a well-deserved coffee with the girls.

More infections

The older baby is out more often so all infections that he contracts get to the baby. There will be more sniffles, a case of measles and an inexplicable rash more often than you think.

Thankfully, experience will have taught you well by the time you get to number two so relax. You know exactly what to do.


Bayo Ajibola

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