SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE: Marriage is one of the most important relationships one has here on earth. From it, one can have a very wonderful experience here on earth. It is also a sad reality that from marriage one can have a very unpleasant experience here on earth. The experience one gets from their marriage is dependent on many things. The following are some pillars that make a happy marriage.
Happy marriages don’t just happen. When you see a happy one, know that it has been worked on and somebody paid the price for it.
Marriage, like many other aspects of life requires continued attention. It has to be perpetually attended to and cultivated. So keep on spicing it up. Keep doing the same caring things you used to do when you first got into love.
Go for romantic outings. Marriage is not the end of romance but the discovery of a life time of bliss. Continue buying each other gifts and being loving like you used to or fatigue and boredom will set into your marriage and threaten the very joy of your marriage.
Happily married people are people who DELIBERATELY work towards the success of the marriage in WORD and in DEED.
- CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Contrary to popular belief, a happy marriage doesn’t mean a conflict-free marriage … Happily married couples are those who have learnt to deal with their conflicts amicably and conclusively. They are couples who refuse to watch misunderstandings degenerate into costly conflicts but deal with them promptly, conclusively and fairly.
Conflicts in marriage will always arise. But when marital problems are allowed to go unattended for long periods, they tend to ferment into a more complicated mess that is even harder to resolve. So when you see a conflict, stop and resolve it the soonest you can because a problem that is not attended to takes away the joy of marriage.
- MUTUAL RESPECT
Marriages thrive on mutual respect. Happy couples treat each other well and honorably. They learn to show careful consideration for each other.
The Bible says to men, “giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel…” (1 Peter 3:7). So as your wife is respectful and submitted to you, honor her. Always remember that the weakness mentioned here is not with reference to importance or value, but to authority. You are both equal before the LORD and He expects you to treat her as much.
Marriages work through prayer. And you’ve got to learn how to pray for your marriage not just when things are not working but when everything is still ok. There are three reasons why you must pray for your marriage … (i) the devil hates your marriage and he would want it to collapse the soonest (ii) The more you pray, the more sensitive you are to your spouse and the less conflicts will arise in your home. (iii) Prayer changes people. Nagging your spouse won’t change them, but GOD can change them through your prayers. However, GOD will always change you first.
Marriages thrive where there is a sense of accountability. We all need someone that we are accountable to for the success of our marriage. It is important, especially as a husband to have somebody greater than yourself that you are accountable to. Have a mentor or someone who can look at your life and correct you when you are wrong. It would also be important to have peer-friends who value the institution of marriage like you do.
Where there is accountability, people will always think twice before giving up on their marriage.
- OPEN COMMUNICATION
Marriage thrives where there is open communication. A happily married couple knows that when they cease communicating effectively, they begin to fall apart. Keep your communication lines open. If you find yourself grieved by something your spouse did, be open and let him know. Keeping quiet only compounds the problem and breeds separation. Honest communication keeps your marriage tension-free and growing.