Sexless marriage after 11 years

To cut a long story short.
My wife always been hard work in bedroom department but since my youngest been born she won’t even touch me. And if I touch her she just oozes negativity. Her body language tells me she hates it but just puts up with bare minimum to shut me up.
I don’t want sex for the hell of it I want intimacy. 50/50. I feel atm that I rather stay away from her because her rejection makes me feel soo bad.
She doesn’t like me using my hands and sex toys are a big no no.

I understand when you have children it not high priority but My son is now 5 and half now and I feel soo lonely and want a lover not just a best friend and great mum.

I would say it’s just getting worse. I spoken to her about it and she ses she doesn’t think she can ever satisfy me in that department. But not really given a reason. She also said she never thinks about sex etc . I’ve asked her if it’s me but no responce.
She just tries to avoid the subject.

Am I wrong to say I miss being intimate and want a lover?