TEACHING OUR KIDS ON DEALING WITH SOCIAL REJECTION

Bayo Ajibola

Teaching Our Kids on Dealing With Social Rejection

There are certain things that  do stay consistent throughout generations. Kids have been getting teased and bullied for generations but what has changed is that bullying is happening on a much bigger scale and the consequences are often much more tragic.

Bullying used to take place almost exclusively at school. Now it may enter the home in a non-stop and malignant manner because of the technological access that kids have to each other like social medias. Therefore parents have a larger taskahead. We need to teach our kids-one kid at a time- how to deal with slights and rejections.

First, here are some things NOT to teach them:

  1. “Ignore the bully.” This is the most heartless although well-intentioned advice there is. How on earthcan we expect a child to ignore assaults to the soul?
  2. “You are too sensitive.” Really? Way to invalidate you child’s feelings!
  3. “I’ll handle it.” Hold on a minute. First, brainstorm with your child about what s/he might be able to do on his own to handle the situation. You want your child to develop feelings of competence, right?

Here is what you do want to teach your kids:

  1. You want to teach them that they are not necessarily being slighted when they think they are. Don’t invalidate their feelings. Suggest instead that the other child may be angry at the world at large not simply at them. Or perhaps that child is having a bad day. At the very least, this way of thinking may help your child take things less personally and feel less dejected.
  2. In that same effort you may want to suggest to your child that in some sort of paradoxical fashion that they smile at that kid who is staring or glaring at them. This sounds ridiculous, right? It’s NOT. I swear by this strategy. When you smile at someone who is staring and glaring they have no choice but to getconfused and their anger or whatever other ill-begotten vibe that they had intended has just lost its power.
  3. Perhaps they need to learn a little empathy for the bully. If they understand that the bully is probably not enjoying his life this may help curtail personal feelings of dejection.
  4. Remind your kids that slights and rejections follow us throughout life because there are many unhappy people lurking around the water cooler of life. This doesn’t necessarily make things easier but it may put things into perspective.

GOOD LUCK!

 


Bayo Ajibola

Welcome to naijaparents.com. Whatever your  problem, marital, relationship, spiritual or parenting. We are here for you. No matter how difficult they are, together we can release power sufficient to solve these problems either spiritual or otherwise. Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answers and solutions.  Digging at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves is our way of solving your problems. On naijaprents we break the problem down into components and solve one problem at a time. Let's hear from you.Join the conversation on our Forum and , like us on our Facebook page .Google+

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.