Relationships need and want.In any conversation, the terms ‘need’ and ‘want’ are easily confused for the same thing. Nigerian men and ladies, especially, fall into two categories: those that believe they want/need the opposite sex in their lives and those that believe otherwise.
But the thing is, need and want mean entirely different things. They are even different from love, as most people tend to think.
In life, there’s always this tendency to put your needs, wants and love in the same position and you end up using these words to suit yourself. But if you want to develop a successful relationship, you need to fully understand what these words actually mean.
Sure, it’s fine to need someone when you are feeling down emotionally or you are going through a particularly difficult time in your life. But when you start needing someone around you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, something is definitely wrong and this makes it hard for the other person to even handle your constant needs. Honestly, it can be pretty suffocating for them.
Let’s take a look at these scenarios that further define the differences between need and want both in and outside relationships.
Needing a man or woman means you are feeling very desperate but when you want a man/woman, this means you feel empowered. What does this mean?
If it seems as if the thought of being in a relationship seems so impossible to you that you claw at any opportunity to meet single women/men or that you spend countless hours swiping faces on dating sites, what you should do instead is to focus on the things that make you happy on a daily basis.
Whether it’s cooking, exercising, traveling or joining social clubs, do it. When you begin to feel empowered enough to be satisfied with yourself, you’ll find that you will attract the person you want.
If you need someone, it means you only need a confidence boost but if you want someone, it means that you know you are worthy of them.
Honestly, every one of us needs to be told once in a while that we are awesome. It is in our nature as humans to want that feeling of being lusted after, especially when its someone that you are romantically interested in. Oh, the blissful feeling.
But if you are the kind of person that needs someone else to constantly reassure you that you are handsome or beautiful, that he or she loves you or that you are incredible, then you are really missing out on the good things in life.
Before you enter any relationship, it is essential that you understand your value and the unique worth that you bring to the relationship. When you have already defined who you are and what you are made of, you’ll have no need to be reminded of it every single day.
Instead, when you get that compliment, or two, it’ll be the extra affirmation to what you already know as truth. Relationships need and want.
When you need someone, it means you desire the feeling of completeness but when you want someone it means loving all the bad with all the good.
We’ve all heard the sayings, “you are my better half…you complete me…finding a soul mate is your soul finding its way home.”
Oh please, really? Instead of searching for someone else to fill in the blanks that feel incomplete for you, why not search for the one that would love those blanks? The one that would love all of you, imperfect and all?
No matter what stage you are in life, there will always be that feeling of incompleteness. When kids come into the picture, it can dent your social life. When you get that well-deserved promotion, you might have to give up those Friday nights out with the boys. The river of life flows and ebbs, so why not just want the person that can ride the waves with you instead of looking for the non-existent person that you want to fix you out of the water?
When you need someone, you’re saying you can’t live without them, but when you want someone, you are saying you can live without them but you have chosen not to do so.
I know many people would shake their heads at this point. Many a romantic comedy have shown that when you say you love someone, what you are really saying is that out of all the possible suitors you must have dated and/or slept with, you are choosing this one person to share your life with.
Maybe you don’t know this but your choices are way stronger than that feeling that you can’t make it through one day without that crush in your life. If you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you rather feel handpicked instead of handcuffed? Relationships need and want.
When you need someone, it means that you aren’t ready to be in a relationship but when you want someone you are confirming that you are.
I hate to break it you but if you continue to believe that you need a woman/man in your life to be happy then, my friend, you aren’t ready to be in a successful relationship.
That moment you realize you thrive and survive just fine without someone else is the moment you know that you can engage in a healthy relationship.
When you feel that you need someone, you’ll keep trying to say the right things to them, but when you want someone, it means you are able to say what you are really thinking and feeling.
If you are unable to say what you are really thinking and are always worried about saying the right things to keep the other person interested in you, then trust me when I say you’ll be losing out on the person that can love you for who you are.
Besides, who you are is pretty darn terrific, so why trivialize it?Relationships need and want.