Here’s an interesting article written by PointB, and it details the tribulation of a certain leader, Jonah….read, enjoy and don’t forget to leave comments below.
The Tribulation of Jonah, Chapter One Verse 1 – 24
1. In the fourth year of the reign of Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, prosperity was upon the land, and there was grains and tubers in abundance.
2. Thereupon, King Jonah spoke to the people saying ”Lo, I have rebuilt the rails and the road, and given you abundant bread.
3. In my reign you have not queued endlessly for oil. I have reformed power and made our nation prosperous.
4. Reward me, O great people. Let me lead you to further greatness!”
5. In those days, there arose from far North a barbarian horde which lay waste to the country side, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves men, women and children.
6. They were led by brutish commanders named after cows.
7. The people cried out and say, “O King, may you live long and defeat all your enemies. Alas, She-cow and his bands of terrorists do make life difficult for us. They burn our houses, loot our barns, kill our men, take as slaves men, women and children, and they take our lands.
8. O good King, put to the sword this terror leader and his hordes.”
9. Wherefore Jonah the Able, Son of Locki dispatched his trusted commander, Ihe the son of Rika.
10. Ihe the Son of Rika took thousand men and fell upon Shecow and his band of terrorists in the battle of Baga.
11. Shecow fled with his men to the wilderness of Sambisa. But Ihe the Son of Rika pursued them deep into the deadly forest (for he had swore to crush them), and he put to the sword several of them, including Shecow who died of his wound.
12. Thereupon, Ihe the son of Rika retired, and returned to his home.
13. And there arose a certain zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. Thus did he address Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, “You are killing my people for a cause started by your people.
14. “O, wicked King, you rode your people in the best chariot, gave them gold , land and plough when they arose against the nation, but you put arrows and spears into mine for same deed.”
15. “Most assuredly I say to you, I shall take your crown and right all the wrongs you have done.”
16. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus address the king, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son of Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (many of these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).
17. The others were Ameh the Swift, Son of Echi (for he’s swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.
18. Thereafter, arose another terror leader, He-Cow (for the terror leaders are named after cows).
19. He butchered male children as they learn in peace, and the female he took in their number as slaves and wives.
20. And thus did he taunt King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki, ”I have taken your daughters. I shall sell them as slaves, and marry them off to my warriors. Repent and follow my god and my way, or I shall destroy you and those who follow you!”
21. But King Jonah the Able, Son of Locki would not budge. He dispatched Mini the son of Mah, another trusted general.
22. Mini the son of Mah descended upon He-Cow in the battle of Kondunga, slaying him and those who follow him.
23. And Mini the son of Mah addressed the people saying, “Behold He-cow lifeless body as it lay dead among his terror band. Verily, verily, I say to you, same fate shall be meted to any and all who go by the name of cow, and ply terror as trade!”
24. And there was great rejoicing among the people, for they saw the body of He-cow, who tormented them, among the dead!
The Tribulation of Jonah Chapter Two verse 1-20
1. And there arose another terror leader from the ashes of Konduga, E-Cow he is called (for the terror leaders are name after cows). And thus did E-cow, address King Jonah the Able, son of Locki! “I am alive, I am SheCow, the one who was, the one who shall come! I shall annihilate you, your country and your people.”
2. Thereupon King Jonah the Able, son of Locki entreated his allies in the West saying, “Harken good people of the West, E-cow and his band of brigands seek to bring ruins to my kingdom, do send me your best chariots, swords, cross bows, shields in exchange for gold and silver coins.”
3. Thus did they answer, “We would not trade our chariots and shields in exchange for your gold, least you continue to harm women and children with them.”
4. And they would not hearken to his supplications even as E-cow continue to torment the people, but would rather threaten any and all who sought to help saying, “Don’t offer weapon to King Jonah the Able, son of Locki, least he destroys his country and people with them.”
5. And they received King Jonah the Able, son of Locki gold and silver coins, but will offer no weapons or shield in exchange.
6. Whereupon E-cow the bandit did continue to lay waste to the country side, burning, looting, killing and taking as slaves men, women and children.
7. And e-cow erected tents, and above them hang his banners bearing the name of his god and message of death.
8. And the zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, thus address the people, “Lo, King Jonah the Able, son of Locki is weak and wretched, he cannot defend you against E-cow and his bandits, O good people hearken. Make me King over you instead of Jonah, and I shall defeat E-cow!”
9. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus address the people, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son Nubu, Sara son or Raki, Ob son Jeh (these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).
10. The others were Ameh the Swift, Son of Echi (for he’s swift in running errands), and Roch the Sly, son of Cha.
11. But the people spoke against him saying “Are you not the zealot king who put our fathers in dungeons, beat our children with horse-whips, enslaved our young men in fear and worry, and destroyed our windmills. Surely, you would do worse if given another chance!”
12. Another arose saying, “Is this not our ancient king, Mumu the son of Hari the cattle herder, wherefore did he learn the modern art of statesmanship? Show therefore thy seal of knowledge, that we may know that thou art indeed learned, diligent and able to lead us”
13. Whereupon, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger did address the people saying, “Verily, I swear by our laws, my seal of knowledge rests in the chamber of stronghold in the custody of their high scribe! Now let us hasten to make me king that I may defeat e-cow!”
14. But the people continue to murmur saying “He spoke untrue words; he possesses no seal of knowledge. Show us thy seal of knowledge!”
15. Unbeknownst to the people, King Jonah the Able, son of Locki had sent emissaries to allies in the east saying, “Hearken good people of the East, E-cow and his band of brigands seek to bring ruins to my kingdom, do hasten and send me your best chariots, swords, crossbows, shields in exchange for gold and silver coins.” ” And the people from the East sent large numbers of chariots, swords, crossbows, shield and other weapons of warfare in exchange for gold and silver coins.
16. And Mini the Son of Mah addressed the people saying ”We cannot elect a king now as e-cow threaten us, pray therefore that before the onset of the second month, we and our allies shall crush e-cow and his gangs.”
17. And Mini son of Mah took the weapons and gave them to thousand men. And Mini son of Mah set the men against the tents of E-cow and his bands of brigands, and routed them. E-cow fled to his fortress in the wilderness of Sambisa. But Mini the son of Mah and his men would not relent; they pursued them and many of them were felled by the swords, and many were captured.
18. And King Jonah the Able, son of Locki addressed Mini the son Mah and his men saying, “Never again will E-cow threaten us!” And the men responded chanting, “Never Again! Never Again!!” [/i]
19. And there was great rejoicing among the people of the land and they also chant, “Never Again! Never Again!!”
20. These are the tribulation of King Jonah the Able, son of Locki. The other deeds of King Jonah the Able, son of Locki are written in the Chronicles of Jonah. How he defeated the Tura cabal, outfoxed the old generals, caged ex-king Ob son of Jeh, rebuilt rails and road, reform power, fought corruption with modern tools and all, and are they not written in the Chronicles of Jonah?