This Marriage Is Abusive And Full Of Jealous Rage:How Is This Love?

Bayo Ajibola

I would like your advise and post anonymously. I was posted to Port Harcourt (not real location) to carry out my youth service this March before the federal government sent us home as a result of corona virus. I made the decision to stay back in my Uncle’s place in PH cos going back to Abuja was quite far.

On arriving at his place, I was made welcome very well. His wife is a pleasant woman. They’ve got two children. However,I notice that every single night,they argue in their room and before long,they come outside shouting and all.

I was shocked because I have never ever been used to seeing this kind of behaviour before in my family. Ever since then,every week,they fight and my Uncle end up beating his wife. Initially,I mind my own business cos I feel it would be disrespectful if I try to intervene.

This my Uncle is my mom’s younger brother,their last born. I think I am beginning to see his real personality. He seems to be a bit pampered as a kid cos from what I see,what he quarrel with his wife for are the minute details.

He beats her if his food is not ready in less than 5 mins. If she goes to Market and does not come back in 45 mins,its beating. he checks her phone every now and then. He tells her what to wear and what not to wear.

To me,he is an ass…even the neighbors do not come out anymore to separate them. I think they have been like this for years. I had to speak to the wife. I asked her why this fight and beating everyday,she said she does not know why but that he does it cos he loves her.

My mouth dropped….like how can she say he husband beats her cos he loves her? She must be totally brain washed. I told her its not normal. She said he is a jealous man,that is men who love their wives behave: they react that way cos they are afraid of loosing their wives.

I asked her what if she dies in the process,she says he can never beat her to the point of death. That most times,after they fight,its sex that follows. That he will be apologizing to her later,saying he cannot control how he feels for her.

Ma, this is not healthy. I cannot wait for this lock down to be over cos I have never seen anything like this. See the kind of environment they are raising two small children all in the name of jealous love rage.I had to call my mother to tell her cos I could not face my Uncle.

My mother called him and he became very furious. He then changed the story that I am interested in his wife. That I should mind my business or leave his house. I honestly wish I can leave today. My only wish is if only this his wife would realize that what she is passing through is abuse and not love.

I try not to talk to her again but I am pained. What else can I do? Please advise.


Bayo Ajibola

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