True Story: My Baby Daddy Promised Marriage, But It Never Happened

Bayo Ajibola

I want to share my story because I need advice on what to do with my child’s father. It’s a long story, but I’ll try to summarize it. I met Paul (not his real name) in April 2020, and he talked about marriage. However, he already had a wife and proposed that I become his second wife. I agreed, and we started courting. During this time, he also encouraged me to learn two different trades, which I successfully completed within a year.

Coming from a polygamous family, after my father’s passing, we sold his only house and divided the money among the family members. At that point, my boyfriend (Paul) and I decided to find a spacious apartment for our upcoming marriage. Soon, I became pregnant while still learning the second trade, and we both decided to keep the baby.

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Paul faced some business issues, and I lent him 300k to solve the problems. Unfortunately, he mishandled the money and couldn’t provide a proper account of its usage. Shockingly, I later discovered that I was the sixth woman he impregnated. Confronting him, he admitted this fact, but by then, I was already three months pregnant. I demanded the money I lent him, leading to arguments and threats between us. Eventually, he paid back 230k, and I had to let go of the remaining 170k, as our baby had already arrived.

After the birth of our child, Paul did not come home for seven months, despite living nearby. Instead, he preferred to spend time with his first wife, who also had a baby around the same time. Throughout this period, he neglected me and our child. My complaints to his family went unanswered, even though they were preparing for our marriage rites. It’s been a year now, and he has hardly stayed in our house, showing little care or concern. He even brought his girlfriend to live with us for three months.

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Eventually, I reached my breaking point and threatened to leave our child at his office so he could take care of the child with the other woman. He took three days to return our child to me and ended the relationship, claiming disinterest.

Now I feel hurt, bitter, and resentful, especially since he’s moved on happily with the other woman. He posts pictures of their family, which deeply affects me. We consulted a prophet who suggested he might be under some influence from the other woman, but I’m not sure how accurate that is. Despite sending regular financial support for our child, he provides nothing for me as we are no longer together.

I’m now a single mom, and it’s disheartening to see my child grow up without his father’s love and care, especially when the other woman’s kids are well-acquainted with him. I find it difficult to forgive him and move on, as this wasn’t the family I envisioned for my child. I often feel sorry for myself for falling victim to such a person.

In light of this situation, I am seeking your advice on how to handle the situation and find a way to move forward.

Bayo Ajibola

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