True Story: Please Help Me—Being A Single Mother Is Out Of The Question.

Bayo Ajibola

A few days ago, a video went viral, showing how a wedding was canceled after the groom discovered on his wedding day that his soon-to-be wife had two children from a previous relationship and had not informed him. This story deeply affected me as it brought back memories of the difficult upbringing I had, raised by a single mother. I have great respect for single mothers, but my own experience was challenging, and I was determined not to follow the same path.

I recently met a man named Lanre, and we quickly fell in love. He seemed like everything I desired in a partner, and he assured me his marriage was over despite still being legally married. However, things became complicated when his wife experienced a loss, and Lanre felt the need to be there for her, leading to them sleeping together again. I was hurt and wanted to break up, so I went to see my ex-boyfriend in SA without telling Lanre. Unexpectedly, I discovered that I am now pregnant.

At this point, I am unsure if the baby belongs to Lanre or my ex. I am torn between revealing the pregnancy to Lanre, hoping he might leave his pregnant wife for me, or considering getting rid of the baby altogether. Being a single mother is something I do not want for myself, as I know firsthand the challenges it entails.

In summary, I am seeking advice on whether it’s acceptable to pin the pregnancy on my ex-boyfriend or if I should move on and make a decision about the pregnancy. My ex desires a future together, including marriage and children, but I fear that if the baby is not his, it might ruin our chances of a successful relationship. I am still young and believe that I will find a suitable partner one day, and I don’t want the possibility of having a child out of wedlock to hinder that. I am concerned about disappointing my mother, who always hoped her children would have a different life path. Any guidance you can offer would be appreciated.

Bayo Ajibola

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