I made a terrible mistake when I was getting married and it is almost ruining my marriage. My husband and I got a loan to sponsor our wedding. We both had esteemed friends and colleagues so we needed to have an elaborate wedding that would suit our class. We both had good paying jobs, or so we thought so we had a high budget for our wedding.
It was going to be a big wedding so we couldn’t plan it on our own. Because of this, we got an event planner who would take care of things. My husband has friends that are well to do. He sort of had a clique and he was the last to get married in the clique. Because of this, he had the intentions of making it memorable and also trying to outdo his friends.
I didn’t realize how stupid our actions were then. We were both interested in having a big party that we forgot the actual things that mattered. On my own end, I have friends that are doing well. My best friend’s wedding was so great and I didn’t want to do something smaller. Due to this, my mindset was altered. I was always using her wedding as a reference.
My husband got a diamond ring for our wedding and as you know, it cost him so much. The wedding gown I bought was 164 thousand Naira and it was so beautiful. I just realized how much of a mistake I made. I only wore the gown once and when I tried reselling it, I couldn’t sell it up to the amount I got it for. The wedding hall took so much money and the event planner too was expensive.
We realized we were running low on cash but instead of us to cut down on our expenses, we decided to get a loan. That was the worst mistake we ever made. We got a loan from the bank and used it to sponsor our wedding. We felt it wasn’t going to be difficult to pay back the loan because of how much we both earned but we didn’t know that unexpected expenses will still come up.
Our wedding went well. It was the talk of the town for a while and Nigerian blogs featured our pictures. Our clique of friends were wowed and we felt we reached our goal. As if that wasn’t enough, we went for our honeymoon in Dubai and spent 3 weeks there. All these were very expensive but we relied on our salary.
We have been paying back since September 2019 and up till now, we haven’t finished it. Although what is left is remaining small, about two more months to go, we have lost our connection. We no longer have joy in our marriage as we find it difficult to live the comfortable life we wanted. This is because after they take some percentage from our salary, what is left is usually very small.
My husband’s mom on the other hand is terribly sick with an end organ disease. This is also taking up so much money. Because of all these expenses, we are always thinking about how to make money. My husband and I no longer have fun, we just greet and act like ordinary colleagues. This is eating me up.
I know we made a terrible mistake but I need to know how I can rekindle the love in our relationship again. I want to have a happy marriage with beautiful children. We don’t have any kids yet because of the situation of things. We agreed to have kids when we have paid the loan and everything is settled. I want to know how I can restore the love in our marriage again. It is too early for my marriage to fail.