We Visited My Fiancé’s Family & things Never Remained The Same Again.

Bayo Ajibola

I am Ada, 26 years old and I have been dating Ugo  for nearly a year. We met in the bank and Ugo happens to be one of the best guys I have ever went out with.Well behaved and I see everything in him that  I want for a husband to be.

I have been talking with his folks on telephone and so far,everything is great. Only the mum though,if I don’t call her,she doesn’t call. She is in Calabar. Ugo always say not to mind her,that his mother is abit old-fashioned. Anyways,I try to call but its tough  with my job and other commitment.

A couple weeks ago,Ugo and I traveled to Calabar to meet up with his family Everybody was warm and nice. I was really getting excited about meeting the people who raised this fine young man that I am head over heels in love with.

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Needless to say,his mum didn’t warm up to me like his dad and other siblings did. That started to frighten me. My love assured me that everything will be alright,that I should just be myslf. When it was time for dinner,they served a local calabar dish which i’ve never eaten before. To be truthful,I really do not like soups or swallows.

To make matters even worse,this particular dish that was served smelled a lot and it was said that it was a traditional delicacy. I swear,I just couldn’t eat it. So,I played around with it but I somehow became sick and I had to stop trying. Ugo’s mother rather than her to be understanding she got upset and said I can’t marry her son if I don’t learn how to eat their kind of foods.

At this stage,I was disappointed. I didn’t come here to plead with anyone to marry me. So,I said to her,” its fine ma. I do not need your son if you think I am not good enough for him”  Things escalated immediately. Even the close relatives that were pleasant to me,suddenly looked at me like I said something terrible to their mum.

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Ugo asked me to say sorry to his mum I just started crying. Like,why will Ugo not even defend me instead,he is taking sides with his mum and family. I left very furious despite the fact that Ugo was asking me to calm down.

I went and got an hotel where I spent the night.Ugo did not even come to see me if I was alright. He called to find out where I was and I told him. He and I had our first major quarrel. I cried throughout that night. When I called my best friend,she asked me to apologize to his mum and use diplomacy to deal with her since Ugo clearly loves me.

The following day,I went to Ugo’s house,I knelt down and begged his mum. She grudgingly accepted my apology. I still felt betrayed. I was raised in a very different home than Ugo. I know most Nigerian families eat swallows but I do not eat it. I really do not like smelly local soups. I can manage stew and Okra but that is it.

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Now,Ugo’s mum is filling his head talk like if I do not know how to cook these Nigerian dishes like Egusi or Ogbonor or Vegetables,that our marriage can’t work. Before now,Ugo never really bothered if I could cook these foods or not but now,he tends to listen to what his mother says.

I told him I would learn how to cook these foods for his sake but even with that,things have not changed. Our relationship is strained since we got back from his folks place. I feel sad and uncertain and Ugo is not as warm as before. He actually said we need to get to know each other more before we get married.

This same Ugo was ready to marry me yesterday. He did not care…he was just happy with the way I am. Now,he maybe doubting us. I love him so much. I do not want to loose him but something is telling me that I may already be loosing him. What do I do? I am desperate. I really love Ugo. Please advise me.


Bayo Ajibola

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