When He disappears for a few Days  

Bayo Ajibola
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When He disappears for a few Days  . So he left and never came back on the same day. He did not even bother to call you or even text. But after a few days he was back.

Such situations are quite disturbing and if you respect yourself then you should not let it slip away. You should get down to the truth of the matter. Do so in a sensible and respectful manner.

 

Find out the Truth

Of course in such situations you might think that some harm might have come to him. You might even report to the police station and even call his friends and relatives just to find out his whereabouts. This can really drive you crazy.

 

When he comes back do not overreact. Instead dig deeper and find out the truth so that you can make an informed decision. The situation might become frustrating especially when you try to reach out and he does not respond. Do not fret he just might not be ready to explain himself. Of course there could be very many conclusions running in your mind. It could be that he is involved with someone else or maybe he’s avoiding conflict and does not want to hurt your feelings.

 

Truth is that most men who disappear and come back are usually involved in more than one relationship at ago. Courtesy demands that you communicate even when you are unavailable. You don’t need to give a long explanation. Simply state that you will not be around. This is a sign of respect and respect is a two way street. It is given and taken.

 

It is also important to find out if this is his personality. Has he ever mentioned to you before that he likes to take some time alone? If he has then you might as well save yourself the heartache because he is going to be missing and coming back. If this is his habit then do not think that you can fix or change him. It is stressful enough to deal with an unreliable person and if you are willing to continue being in a relationship with him then you will need heavenly patience. If this is how he handles issues or communicates them then brace yourself for frustration galore.

 

 Flag In the  Playing Field

As mentioned earlier, disappearing and coming back is one way for a man to play the field. This is especially true when he cannot make up his mind which woman he wants to be with. The question is how long can you tolerate such kind of behaviour?  If anything tragic happens to him you cannot move on as though it never happened. You also should get ready to be blamed if anything happens to him. This is because people expect a couple to know each other’s whereabouts.

 

There are times when a man can seem to be the real deal and a great catch but disappearing and returning after a few days is a great indicator that he is not willing to put any effort in the relationship because someone who cares and sees a future with you is someone who consults you before making any decision.

 

 

Hold Him Accountable

He could be disappearing and appearing because he feels like he owes no one an explanation. It could be that also he is co parenting and has to go and see his child or maybe he is not ready for commitment.  There could be so many things going on in his life that he is not following through. Bring this up and observe his response. Listen to what he is saying, don’t accept excuses and don’t wait for him to make them.

 

So how does he address your concerns about his behaviour? Is there any acknowledgement and is he making an effort to improve things? Has he taken responsibility and do his actions show that he is working on things? If your answer is yes then you might be in a good position to give him another chance. If he is not acting on his character then he is simply telling you that you are not needed around.

Your Time is Precious

If he is disappearing and coming back without filling you in then you should know that you are worth much more than that kind of behaviour.

You need to set your limits because as a human being there’s only so much that you can tolerate and it is only you who knows when it is time to pack and leave. It is official, you are dealing with a narcissist who is playing with you because they crave attention there’s nothing that is coming in into the relationship from them and if you move on don’t dare respond to the attempts to reconnect with you. They will only suck you back in and waste your time and energy.

 

A Ghost

The man could be disappearing and appearing because he is a ghost. Many people have complained of being left even though the relationship was in a good place. You are not the problem, dealing with a double minded man is a dangerous affair. When he goes away you might feel that you are intensely bound to the person but the truth is you are just feeling sad that your good feelings and connection towards  the person have been disrupted.

 

Truth be told you can never know the mind of a man who is there and is not there at the same time. It is hard to find a sense of belonging, security and permanency with such a man.

 

He will come back and tell you that he needed time to think but did he have time to think of calling you and telling you so? Does he trust you with his burdens? Do not remain in such a condition. Again, you deserve better. Don’t be in a circus where the magician has you as his main act. He cannot work magic and neither can you but you can decide to choose the best for yourself.

Bayo Ajibola

About Bayo Ajibola

All about Parenting, And Loads of Entertainments. Let's hear from you.Join the conversation on our Forum and , like us on our Facebook page .Google+

Bayo Ajibola

All about Parenting, And Loads of Entertainments. Let's hear from you.Join the conversation on our Forum and , like us on our Facebook page .Google+

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