Bayo Ajibola

Why Miscommunication Isn’t Always The Problem In A Marriage

Marriage is anything but easy. Those who say it’s effortless and just comes natural to them are lying. Marriage is work and work is hard. It takes a lot of effort, patience, compromise and tons of other things to really have a marriage be successful.

It’s often sad to hear how many couples blame miscommunication as the problem in their marriage. This is such a vague way to mask the real problem. Miscommunication isn’t always the problem at hand, but rather the effect of the problem. Something else triggers the miscommunication, but couples don’t take the time to realize what the underlying problem is because it’s just so easy to blame it on their martial communication.

Here are some problems that often trigger the “miscommunication” excuse in marriages:

We don’t accept our spouse changing

Like the seasons change every year, so does a person. No one is the same person they were 10 years ago, let alone one year ago. It’s human nature to evolve and marrying a person for who they are now without thinking about who they will become can trigger marital problems. Reminding ourselves that our spouses will change, just as we are, will prohibit fights on this subject later on down the line.

Life happens, whether you plan for it or not

Life is messy and you have to just roll with the punches. The same goes with marriage. If you enter such a big commitment with another person thinking it’s always going to be amazing sex, candle-lit dinners and extraordinary vacations, you’re delusional. Know that whatever happens in life isn’t necessarily the fault of your spouse so don’t take out your frustrations on them. Stop pointing fingers when things start to fall apart. Instead, work though them together as one unit instead of two.

Both spouses are equal, even when it seems like it’s not

The power struggle is a conflict many marriages have. It’s natural to want to feel in charge no matter what the circumstances are. Marriage is about compromise, so one day a husband may hold the power on something and then the next day that power shifts to the wife. It’s an ongoing struggle that doesn’t have to have one person in charge all the time.

The children are put first

Many husbands and wives make this overlooked martial mistake. Yes, children are important, but when you start caring for your children more than about the one who helped you make them, problems tend to arise. Children will benefit more from loving parents who respect their marriage and put it first.

It’s so easy to place the blame on miscommunication when things start to get messy in a marriage. But this just leaves room for the underlying problem to get worse. Spouses need to really look at what is causing the said miscommunication to have a truly happy marriage that benefits the entire family.

Bayo Ajibola

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