My wife and I of 6 years have just recently split up. She has left the house we built and our two daughters (9, 6) with me and has moved in with my (former) best friend of 20 years. She cites the main reason of leaving me is because I forced her grandma (86) who had been staying with us for two years to now live with her auntie.
The situation is my wife had an opportunity to bring her grandmother, who raised her, into our home so as to take care of her. As a matter of fact i do not have problem with that. For the first couple of months she did a fantastic job at it. I work full-time while she is a full time student. After some time she stopped doing anything with her grandmother I will complain to her about helping her grandma more.
The boiling point was reached when one evening I woke up to the smell of gas and hearing a loud “click, click” sound. Her grandma was trying to light the stove and could not but had left the gas on. I have children to look out for, i told my wife “this is it i have had enough that maybe her grandma should go and live with her where i know she will be taken good care of that she is not taking good care of her.” Therefore the the following month, she made preparations and sent her to live with her auntie.
A few months go by and I started to noticing her getting a bit more distant to me. She started hanging out with my best friend . I caught them hanging out and going for drives in the middle of nowhere a couple of times. I find a photograph on her laptop of both of them looking super happy. I asked her what is going on between her and my frien she told me nothing and that infact she hadn’t seen him a long time.
The last straw was this last Saturday when I saw a text from her telling him to send 30,000 Naira to a new bank account she created, with the attached message of “I love you”. I confronted her about it again, and she has been emotionally shut down ever since. Almost everything between us was wonderful until this time. When she left the house she told my daughter’s she is staying at her friend’s parents house, I felt like I had to see for myself she wasn’t lying.
Sure enough, she was not there but rather at my friends house. I do not know what happened, but we have rarely talked since then. She is telling people that she resents me and always will for sending her grandma away. And that she’s “only suicidal around me” and I have this ” negative energy” around me.
I adore my wife. My daughter’s have been crying for her every day. She spends time with them while I am at work here at our house but leaves soon after I get home.
I don’t want her to leave and have told her, but she says she needs time. I am unhappy without her and can not stop thinking there is more to all of this. Everything I’ve been told about her being depressed is encouraging me to help her and be there for her but she seems almost disgusted with me and avoids me totally. Help me Naijaparents…you guys are my only hope. What would you advice me to do please.